This battle is a mental one. It’s not physical. It’s mental. I can do it but part of me doesn’t want to. But I can. I know this.
Running. The sun is shining and the path in front of me is clear. I’m here because I want to be here. I need to be here. I know being here is part of what’s going to get me back on to the right path. A better path. A healthier path.
When I want to quit, I evaluate. I consider honestly how I’m feeling: Tired, but not ready to give up. It would be easier to stop, to give up, but that won’t get me where I need to go.
One foot in front of the other. One step at a time. The sound of my footsteps on the trail is the sound of progress.
Most people don’t do this all at once on their first try. They work up to it. They get help and support from people who know how to best get to the finish line. I need to remember that. It’s a journey, not a giant leap.
There are distractions. Stopping for my dog to pee breaks my rhythm but others’ needs have to be taken care of too. The stop is brief and we keep going. 4 km down, 1 to go.
Sometimes it feels like I’m never going to get there. Like I’m going to be struggling and pushing to the end forever.
Where’s the $%!@!! marker?!
I’ve been here before and I’ve given up before. Not this time. This time I’m pushing to the end.
I’m never going to get better if I don’t push past the hard part of the run and realize I can do it. My dad told me that when I first started running.
In running as in life.
The marker – the end of the path – is there. Partially hidden but I can just barely see it. I keep breathing, knowing I’m going to get there. Knowing when I do I will finally breathe easier and be able to pause and appreciate what’s around me.
I got there today. 5 km in the sunshine. I didn’t stop when I wanted to stop because that’s how you get to the end.
This post is linked up with Mama Kat’s writers’ workshop, prompt 4: “What battle are you fighting? Write a poem overcoming.” This is as close to poetry as I get 😉
