Archives for July 2011

I Held Her Hand

July 26, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

I’ve only met her a handful of times, but she is someone I know.

I hadn’t seen her in over two years, but I remember her face from when we were both new mothers.

We met at a baby group and chatted a few times. We were Facebook friends for a while, until I trimmed my friends list when I was going through my own struggle and felt vulnerable.

Other friends had kept in touch and told me the news.

She has Stage 3 breast cancer.

She is a single mom.

My son is one day older than her daughter.

I friended her again and asked what I could do to help.

Today I drove her to her appointment with the surgeon for a follow-up and her pathology results. I asked her how she was doing and listened as she told me about things no one should have to deal with all at the same time, especially a beautiful person who is a single parent to a little girl.

I can’t fix this one. I can’t say “I know” because I don’t. I can’t say “I’ve been there and you are not the only one who feels that way and I know it will be all right” because I haven’t and I don’t.

All I can do is something she couldn’t do herself.

I took her to her appointment.

I went into the room with her when the doctor told her what they’d discovered.

I held her hand.

***

She’s going into this battle armed with knowledge and strength, and I do have faith that she will be all right, but anything you’ve got is warmly welcomed – prayers, good thoughts, cancer-killing vibes, whatever. Send it out to her, will you?

Filed Under: Better world · Tagged With: hope, perspective, spreading the love

Gorilla Nostrils

July 25, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

Filed Under: Randomness ·

Hello, Inspiration: From My Heart

July 24, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

Inspiration, at times, is something simple but powerful.

This week I wrote a post in two parts. I used to think I would never share that story. I just couldn’t see how I could admit to that stuff.

As time went on, though, I knew I needed to write about it.

After conversations last week, I knew I needed to do write about it now so other people struggling with the same things could read it and know it’s okay. That it will be okay.

I wrote the whole thing and had a good cry. I went to bed, got up and revised and edited. I got my husband to read it to make sure he was okay with it and I asked him the question I’d been scared to ask for months.

I sat in front of my computer. I looked at my husband, who knew I could do it. So I held my breath and hit ‘publish’.

I held my breath for a long time.

I had no idea what kind of a response I’d get. I was sure some would be supportive (especially since I’d called on my #PPDChat army for back-up) but I was waiting for the haters.

They didn’t come.

I got nothing but amazing support. I got emails. I got DMs on Twitter. I got messages on Facebook.

I was totally overwhelmed. I can’t even begin to express how grateful I am for the support.

I also got messages from women who aren’t ready – who may never be ready – to admit publicly that this is an issue for them too but who wanted to reach out to someone who understands.

Knowing that sharing the hard parts of my story helps other people is inspiring. It’s why I write.

Odds are I will never be able to reach every mom who struggles with this and thinks she’s alone. But it doesn’t matter.

I’m inspired to try.

Filed Under: Hello, Inspiration, Postpartum depression · Tagged With: community, depression, expectations, gratitude, hope, rage, we're not alone

VlogTalk: Names

July 22, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

This is my second vlog ever. I’ll get better, I promise. At least I have a new haircut to show off. (And, oh hey, look at the great screen capture it chose! That will make you want to watch it…)

Filed Under: Conversations with Connor, Vlogs ·

With The Band & the Shirt to Prove It

July 21, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

A while back our dear Aunt Becky from Mommy Wants Vodka mentioned she was looking for help with Band Back Together.

What? You don’t know Band Back Together? You’re not With The Band? You need to be With The Band, people.

I can’t describe what it is any better than the founder did herself:

Band Back Together is a group weblog that provides educational resources as well as a safe, moderated, supportive environment to share stories of survival. Through the power of real stories written by real people, we can work together to destigmatize mental illness, abuse, rape, baby loss and other traumas so that we may learn, grow, and heal.

All are welcome.

That’s it. It’s that simple and that beautiful.

Some of the stories are hard to read. I don’t read them all, I admit. Some of them I just can’t. But I can always provide a supportive comment and that’s really what being With The Band is about.

I know how hard it is to share hard stories. I’ve shared mine here – even the hardest one. But some people can’t do that, or don’t have a place to. (And a lot of people’s stories are WAY harder than mine.)

I also know how much it means when someone says, it’s okay. You’re not alone. You are not defined by that experience or that illness or that tragedy.

Because of that, when Becky asked for help I signed up. I’m doing what I can to promote the site so people have a safe place and I’m doing some other behind-the-scenes work like writing resource pages and stuff. This is all volunteer – the whole site is.

So if you want to get With The Band, it’s easy. Comment. Spread the love. Retweet or Stumble stuff. Buy a t-shirt. Yes, a t-shirt.

Or…win one! I don’t generally do giveaways but I’m doing this one. One lucky person is going to win a Band t-shirt of their choice.

Mandatory entry:

Browse Band Back Together and leave a comment below telling me which resource page you think will help the most people.

For extra entries (leave a separate comment for each entry):

Subscribe to Band Back Together on Google Friend Connect
Follow @bandback2gether on Twitter
Like The Band on Facebook
Tweet about this giveaway. Sorta like this: I’m With The Band and I want a shirt to prove it! Enter to win one with @MamaRobinJ and @bandback2gether http://wp.me/p1z3B0-Ik #giveaway

Want to go all the way?

Write a post about Band Back Together and share the link in the comments. To thank you for your efforts we will not only give you an entry to win a fabulous t-shirt, we’ll also feature your post on the site (somehow – we’ll figure out exactly how) and then you’ll get some love too.

Giveaway will end at midnight (Pacific time) on July 28, 2011 and a winner will be drawn at random.