Archives for October 2011

The Blogger’s Manifesto

October 31, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

There have been a lot of posts lately about burnout. Bloggy burnout.

Alison wrote about doing less as a result of running out of fuel.

Kim wrote about finding balance in unplugging.

Jessica wrote about blogging less and breathing more.

And probably lots of others. (Have you written about it? Fire a link at me.)

We all go through that at times. Some scale back and worry it will mean they won’t be The Next Big Thing. Others scale back and find they write better and enjoy blogging more when it’s not such a big part of their day-to-day. And some, of course, quit altogether.

I haven’t found the secret or the magic balance. Lord knows I ~~blab~~ blog too much. After my relatively brief time here, however, I have developed a philosophy. And thus I present to you The Blogger’s Manifesto:

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Filed Under: Randomness · Tagged With: blogging, expectations, perspective

The Truth

October 30, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

Just before 4:30 on Friday, I left my afternoon meeting and got into my car. I drove a few blocks and then pulled over to an empty parking spot on the side of the road, pulled out my BlackBerry, and wrote my resignation.

And hit send.

As of November 19, I will no longer be employed at the organization I have worked at for almost six years. I will no longer be employed at all, in fact.

The truth is this causes me a slightly-larger-than-small amount of anxiety.

The truth is it’s more freeing than scary.

When we started talking about making this move I presumed I’d get a job and then move. I applied for some, interviewed, and then sat there waiting for the phone to ring. And one afternoon I realized I was waiting for the phone to ring but hoping it didn’t.

That realization was freeing too.

By all normal logic, I should have a job. My husband is a stay-at-home dad and I have a preschooler who’s growing so fast I’m starting to hope capris become a hot style for three-year-old boys.

We intend to buy a house in Calgary, but with the equity in our current house we’ll be able to do that. We sold that house on Friday – the papers have been signed, the for-sale sign has been flipped, and less than a month from now we’re going to hit the road.

I’ve busted out of the golden handcuffs before and it’s not easy. (One of these days I’ll have to tell you the story about how spending a weekend at an alternative treatment centre with my mom when she had cancer ultimately led me to leave a totally secure job and take a pay cut to do the kind of work I wanted to do.) It hasn’t been easy this time around either. But I have never once doubted it’s the right thing to do, and after all that’s happened over the last few months I’m not prepared to take the wrong job just so I have a job. Sometimes I think you have to just GO. The right job will find me.

“Aren’t you scared?” a good friend of mine asked a few weeks ago. “Shitless,” I answered truthfully. But I’d rather be full of fear for a short time than full of regret forever. (And then last week, for similar reasons, that friend quit his job too. The truth is out there, people. It’s spreading, and it’s AWESOME.)

The truth is we spend too much time being scared. We think “scary” equals “wrong” so we stay scared and we do nothing. We stay the course.

The truth is I think I’d die if I stayed the course. Physically, I already came as close as I care to. I’m not letting what I “should” do steal my soul.

Image credit: kxlly on Flickr

There’s a whole other layer to what’s happening in my work environment right now and, while I decided to move on before that begun, it’s been, frankly, awful. There are things I want to pour on this page, but I can’t. That’s one truth I can’t tell. So I don’t have this outlet and my emotion and frustration and grief over a difficult situation have overflowed elsewhere.

Truth: It’s affecting people I care about, and that’s hard.

Truth: It’s damaged a relationship, possibly irreparably, and I regret that while at the same time feel like I can’t do anything about it.

Truth: It feels like I’m leaving part of me behind in this process. Not just the part I have intentionally ditched, but a good part. A stable part. A rational part.

It’s the truth. But it has consequences.

Filed Under: Be enough me, Happy things, Hard things · Tagged With: admissions, anxiety, Be enough me, hope, living life, telling the truth, The Universe

For Charity

October 29, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

When someone struggles, I help. When someone celebrates, I join in. But sometimes it’s a little bit of both, with hard stuff and happy stuff all intertwined, and I’m up for that too.

This is for Charity.

Dear Charity,

I know today you’re thinking back to a year ago when you admitted you needed help and went somewhere you could get it. I know it’s a hard day to think of. But it wasn’t just a hard day – it was the start of something.

Today you don’t have to worry about whether a year from now you will wish you had started today, because you’ve already begun. And you’ve come a long way, baby. Even if you still struggle, you are making progress and you’re where you need to be.

So don’t worry about this day a year ago, or this day a year from now. Focus on today.

You are where you need to be.

Filed Under: Postpartum depression · Tagged With: call for back-up, community, depression, hope, spreading the love, we're not alone

Signs It’s Too Long Since You Ran

October 27, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

Until Wednesday I hadn’t been for a run for a while, despite very good intentions. Then a couple of weeks ago we went to the beach and I ended up in my running shoes in the water thanks to a certain 3-year-old who wasn’t listening very well, but that was a perfect excuse to replace my way-too-old runners and kickstart the process. Which I did, and thus I present you with:

10 signs it’s been too long since your last run:

Your sports bra is so well buried you practically have to excavate your underwear drawer to find it.
Your dog doesn’t even look up when you get your runners out, because he certainly wouldn’t think to expect he might be getting a run.
Your dog also doesn’t get up from the couch when you actually put your runners on because, well, see #2.
You have come to associate your running hat with covering up (bad) weekend hair.
You put your running vest on and it’s a little, um, tight around the hips. (Stupid vest.)
When getting your running vest out of the closet, you notice that your running jacket looks awfully clean, as though it had been hanging there for a while without being worn (or something).
You can’t find the shorter leash you usually use when running with your dog, so you take the retractable one instead. Meh, it works.
When you get to the trail, your dog goes absolutely berserk. (Yes, all right, it’s been awhile. Noted.)
Running hurts.
Despite the hurt, when you get going at a decent pace your thought process goes like this: “Hey, look at me! Not bad. This is practically a tempo run! WOO HOO! I OWN THIS TRAIL! Except… Gosh, it kind of hurts to breathe. What’s that, dog? Oh, you have to pee? Okay, let’s pause for a minute. I don’t mind. In fact, let’s just walk the rest of the route. It will be good for me to properly cool down. Yeah, that’s it…”

And then, possibly, when you get to the end of the trail you’ll feel like a bit of a wuss for having quit early because, despite the pain – and the pouring rain – the run felt pretty damn great.

Lesson learned. I can’t wait to go again.

Filed Under: Happy things · Tagged With: lists, living life, running

Fall Foods: Squash & Pesto Penne

October 26, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

I found this recipe a couple of years ago on a group recipe blog called Bitches in the Kitchen. I’m always up for different pasta recipes and this butternut squash and pesto penne dish looked pretty good so I thought I’d give it a try.

Image credit: Morgan from Bitches in the Kitchen

One word: YUM. It’s seriously very good. And very easy to make:

Ingredients

1 small butternut squash, peeled, and chopped into 1/2″ pieces
1 tbsp butter
1 cup chicken stock
2 oz (1/4 package) cream cheese
1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese
3 tbsp pesto
salt & pepper
1 pkg penne
shaved Parmesan

Cooking instructions

Steam butternut squash until fork tender and drain. Bring a big pot of salted water to a boil for the pasta.

In a deep frying pan, sauté steamed squash cubes in butter. Mash gently with a spoon as you sauté. Add chicken stock, cream cheese, grated Parmesan, pesto, and salt and pepper. Stir until combined. Cook pasta while the sauce is coming up to a boil.

Toss warm sauce with cooked and drained pasta (add a few ladles of pasta water if the sauce is too thick) and top with shaved Parmesan. Enjoy!

The pesto gives it a really nice flavour. This is a great one for kids, too. (When our kids were younger a friend of mine said her daughter would eat anything you offered her, as long as it was noodles and cheese. Ha ha. I think we all relate to that, and this dish might just pass… And it has a vegetable in it!)

Happy fall!

Linking up with Kludgy Mom for: