Archives for December 2011

Link-up: Farewell to 2011 in photos

December 18, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

How would you describe 2011 in words? It’s hard for me to pick just one.

Enlightening.

Frightening.

Joyous.

Anxiety-ridden.

Unexpected.

Life-changing.

2011 included my worst personal experience to date.

It included one of my best personal experiences to date.

It was the year I went public with my experience with PPD.

It was the year I started this blog (almost exactly one year ago, in fact).

2011 was the year I took 4 1/2 months off work and saw a psychiatrist and was significantly medicated. It was the year I quit the job I used to love and moved with my family away from the city I grew up in. It was the year I learned to call myself a writer.

All those things are so indescribably unexpected. A year ago I had no idea I would be where I am today. NO idea. And I couldn’t be more grateful – for all of it.

But while those are the things I will remember most about this year, there are lots of other things that happened too and together they make up what 2011 was about for me. All those big things are captured on this blog, but only some of the small things are. And they should have a place here too, don’t you think?

So here’s what I’m going to do: After Christmas, I’m going to put together a post that includes a photo to represent each month of the year. It might depict something big, and it might be something small that I just want to remember. I’ll post it and include a linky and anyone who wants to play along is welcome to link up.

And…there’s a prize.

One winner will be randomly chosen from those who link up to receive a complimentary registration in the Brave Girls Club’s Soul Restoration I class.

This class is described as an “enjoyable and powerful workshop…designed to help you really really think and hear your own soul again…to help you remember what brings you the most joy, to realize & remember all of the things that you are good at and that make your heart sing…to get back on track and to unleash the courage and motivation to stay on track….to reunite with your soul.”

A perfect way to start 2012, I would say.

So enjoy the festivities, however you celebrate, and then reflect on the last year, choose some photos and join in. The link-up will be open from Dec. 26 to Jan. 2, and a winner will be randomly chosen on Jan. 3.

Happy reflecting.

Filed Under: Happy things, Hello, Inspiration, Photos · Tagged With: favourite activities, going public, gratitude, living life, perspective, spreading the love

Does this count as lying to Santa?

December 16, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

“Have you been good this year?”

“Yes.”

[I suppose in the grand sense of the word he’s been good. Sometimes he’s very good. Sometimes he’s three.]

“Do you listen to your mommy and daddy?”

“Yes.”

[I think my kid just lied to Santa. Well, fine, it wasn’t really a fair question. He listens to daddy but does NOT listen to mommy, so I guess he didn’t know which answer to choose. Is answering ‘yes’ like rounding up?]

Overall, a very good visit with Santa. Except for the part where he tried to wipe his candy cane mouth on my sweater. (My kid, that is, not Santa.)

Filed Under: Conversations with Connor, Happy things, Motherhood · Tagged With: family, love, toddlers are weird

Review of Purple Leaves, Red Cherries

December 13, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

Some things capture you from the very first. That was Purple Leaves, Red Cherries for me.

“How long does it take, being a mom? When is my shift over?”

A couple of months ago, some of the Just.Be.Enough team members had a chance to get a copy of this book to read (and their posts inspired by the book went up on the site last week). I bowed out because I got to participate in the Striiv challenge, but I did get a PDF copy of the book. One look and I knew I needed to read it in its intended format, so I bought the Kindle edition. This book is stunning.

“[In]Sanity” by Nomi Melul Ohad, first published in the book Purple Leaves, Red Cherries.

In the introduction, author Tania Elfersy describes coming up with the idea for the book: “So I got to thinking, mostly in the shower – my “room of one’s own” (where else do I get a peaceful moment by myself?)…” Oh yeah, I thought, this is an author (and mother) who gets it.

One of my rants about motherhood is that we don’t talk enough about what it’s really like. When I first became a mother I thought I was the only one who found it so hard, and I wish I’d had this book then.

“Why did it never occur to me that I could actually put down my baby and go to the bathroom?”

I dove into this book without really knowing what to expect, and I loved it so much I read it in one sitting. It contains several different categories of stories by real moms and each story is short. Really short, which makes it so easy to read (especially for tired moms who don’t get through more than a few sentences of a book before falling asleep at night). The categories demonstrate the complexity of motherhood, and the organization of the book makes it easy to go back and read something related to your own struggle and realize you’re not so alone.

“Who I Was, Who I Am” includes stories of women’s identities before and after children – one of my favourite topics.

“Love” is both heartbreaking and beautiful in its stories of mothers’ love for their children.

“Difficult Days” hit me right in the gut. Those could have been my stories.

They even tackled sex.

“But the thought of it. It’s so exhausting. I want a cup of tea, damn it!”

And the artwork is totally captivating. It gives the book a personality. It makes it sing.

“Boundaries and Balance” by Nomi Melul Ohad, first published in the book
Purple Leaves, Red Cherries.

Sprinkled throughout the stories in the book—amid the admissions of tiredness and difficult days—is the one almost universal truth about motherhood: There’s nothing else in the world like it.

“..the incomparable, heart-stopping joy of then and now and always being my daughter’s mother.”

Trust me, you should read this. You’ll be glad you did.

(All quotes are from the book.)

Purple Leaves, Red Cherries is available in hardcover on Amazon, and for a limited time the Kindle edition is only $0.99!

To share some of this beauty with you (and with thanks to Tania Elfersy) I’m giving away a Purple Leaves, Red Cherries poster. One winner will receive a 24″x16″poster on semi-gloss poster paper, valued at US$21.70.(Visit the book’s website to see poster designs.)

Giveaway is open to US, Canada, Australia and the UK. (Poster sizes may vary to meet the country standards.) Closes at midnight on Dec. 21 (which is my birthday – just sayin’) after which one winner will be selected through Rafflecopter.

Note: I was not compensated to write this review and I bought the Kindle edition with my own dollar. I just really like this book. After getting to know Tania a bit through her blog and on Twitter I really like her too and am happy to help her promote this wonderful (self-published!) book. Which is to say: All opinions are my own.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Book reviews, Happy things, Motherhood · Tagged With: perspective

Paradigm Shift

December 12, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

I walk every day, and everything is new.

There’s no doubt I’m somewhere different.

The community we live in now is not one I was familiar with. We chose it, bought a house, and moved here, knowing nothing. Being here is an evolution, a revolution, a metamorphosis.

I’m revelling in the ordinariness of life when it is anything but. Exploring a new grocery store is an adventure. Sideways traffic lights and fire hydrants that are yellow instead of red are notable, if only to me.

Every side street and every path holds promise. Footsteps disappear between the trees and I follow them.

An open space. Late afternoon sun lighting the trees on fire.

Further down, the horizon peeks through.

Snow is heavy on the branches. Sparkling white, gentle, pristine.

Bright red berries speak of the season.

Even the birds have a place to retreat to.

I have walked a lot over the last few years because the dog demands it, but it was always one more thing on the to-do list. A pain, not a pleasure. I walked but didn’t see.

Now I walk every day. A choice, not a chore. And I see because I’m looking.

And I’m watching my paradigm shift.

Filed Under: Happy things, Hello, Inspiration · Tagged With: favourite activities, firsts, gratitude, living life, perspective, photos

Dear Had-Enough Girl

December 11, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

Last Wednesday was not a good day. In fact it was a bad day. A terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.*

By that point we had been in our new house for a week and a half. We had no furniture except the bed we’d bought when we got here and while hanging out in an empty house with no furniture sounds kind of fun, it’s only actually fun for about a day and a half.

The people who lived here before us had a cat. A big, hairy one. I like cats, but I’m horribly allergic to them so being in the vicinity of a cat (or the evidence of a cat) for a prolonged period makes me fairly cranky. And this cat left evidence. There was cat hair everywhere, which we attempted to resolve by vacuuming and steam cleaning the carpets. And washing the windows because there was cat hair stuck to them. But then we discovered that the washing machine and dryer here do a lovely job of pasting cat hair to our clothes, and that was really the last straw.

By last Wednesday I was beyond cranky. I was downright miserable, and making life downright miserable for the two boys and one dog who live with me.

I had been trying to stave off the rage by tromping through snow and chasing sunsets but on Wednesday it wasn’t working. I was sick of the cat hair. I was sick of not having enough cutlery and enough towels. I was sick of someone else’s washer and dryer and desperately wanted to get our new ones delivered already.

I’d had enough.

And then—as it is wont to do—the Universe intervened.

First, a bit of backstory: Several months ago I subscribed to Daily Truths from the Brave Girls Club. (They’re called “A little bird told me…” How perfect is that?) More frequently than I would have expected that daily truth hit on exactly the thing I was struggling with. But then for some reason I stopped getting them. I tried to resubscribe but no dice. With everything else going on I didn’t worry about it, especially since I caught some of them on Facebook.

Anyway, on Wednesday evening, as I was starting to wonder exactly how hard it would be to invent a fast forward button for the bits of life I really didn’t want to have to live through, I saw one of those daily truths on Facebook. I normally skip over those when I’m in a bad mood, but I clicked on that one.

Those who wish to sing always find a song.

Artist: Sally Rose

“Dear Had-Enough Girl,” it said, and I knew it was talking to me.

“First, just take a second and breathe, ok?…deep deep deeply breathe in and out. Close your eyes for a second and remember that it’s ok if you feel completely overwhelmed at the tasks that are ahead for you… It’s okay if you want to throw a fit some days and let someone else be in charge.

So do it…throw a fit for a few minutes.”

I love unexpected messages that completely enable me.

And then kick me me in the pants.

“Now that you’ve got that out of your system…think for a minute about how you want the rest of the day…and tomorrow to go. How you really want to feel, what you really want to accomplish, where you really want to end up…and decide right this second that you are going to do ONE THING to take a step in that direction.”

All right, little bird. Message received. Time to take a deep breath and get my priorities straight.

Thursday was MUCH better.

*With thanks to Judith Viorst for such a perfect descriptor.

If you like, you can read that daily truth in its entirety.

Do you have a source of daily inspiration? Does it ever hit the nail on the head?