For about a year and a half, Connor has been talking about his baby sister. Now, I’ve never been very good at math, but I think that’s longer than I’ve been pregnant.
I’m not sure where this idea came from, and he hasn’t been able to say. I could understand if his friends had baby sisters, but none of them do – they’re all baby brothers. He doesn’t even know that many girls, because our baby groups have been mostly boys.
A baby sister… I wonder if he’s right?
He’s been so sure and so consistent that I really do wonder. There’s also this weird experience I had where I stood in the middle of the framed-in foundation of our first house when it was being built in 2003 and I swear I could see us there with two kids – a boy and a girl. (Which was one of the really hard things about leaving that house – wondering if we somehow had left the second child behind.)
So now the second child is on the way and I swore I didn’t want to find out if we were having a boy or girl this time. We did find out with Connor (and didn’t tell anyone) but having had a scheduled c-section last time due to my darling breech baby makes me sort of want to keep the gender a surprise just in case it happens again. If I don’t get the birth experience I want, I’d like something about it to be like the storybooks.
Silly, I know, but after the gong show that was my last post-birth experience, I want to keep something unknown and exciting.
Except I’m starting to waver. What if Connor is right? I would be so jazzed to know we’re having a girl. And if we’re not, I’d sort of like to go back to my vision of two brothers (and prepare C for the fact that he’s not having a baby sister).
It’s a conundrum.
My husband really wants to find out, but I’ve told him I get to call this one. (A woman who hates being pregnant and had the joy of PPD has to have some perks, right?) I’ve proposed that we get the tech to write it in an envelope that we can choose to open later if we wish. That strategy is mostly to avoid the very anti-climactic experience we had last time where we had said we wanted to know and then the tech just said, “And there you go – a boy.” (It’s entirely possible I’ve had too many fantasies about what this whole experience is supposed to be like, which probably explains several of my problems.)
So… do we find out? Did you? Or would you?
Note: Dear husband, I know how you feel so no need to attempt to sway the discussion. 
xo
