Better world Archives - Page 9 of 10 -

I Held Her Hand

July 26, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

I’ve only met her a handful of times, but she is someone I know.

I hadn’t seen her in over two years, but I remember her face from when we were both new mothers.

We met at a baby group and chatted a few times. We were Facebook friends for a while, until I trimmed my friends list when I was going through my own struggle and felt vulnerable.

Other friends had kept in touch and told me the news.

She has Stage 3 breast cancer.

She is a single mom.

My son is one day older than her daughter.

I friended her again and asked what I could do to help.

Today I drove her to her appointment with the surgeon for a follow-up and her pathology results. I asked her how she was doing and listened as she told me about things no one should have to deal with all at the same time, especially a beautiful person who is a single parent to a little girl.

I can’t fix this one. I can’t say “I know” because I don’t. I can’t say “I’ve been there and you are not the only one who feels that way and I know it will be all right” because I haven’t and I don’t.

All I can do is something she couldn’t do herself.

I took her to her appointment.

I went into the room with her when the doctor told her what they’d discovered.

I held her hand.

***

She’s going into this battle armed with knowledge and strength, and I do have faith that she will be all right, but anything you’ve got is warmly welcomed – prayers, good thoughts, cancer-killing vibes, whatever. Send it out to her, will you?

Filed Under: Better world · Tagged With: hope, perspective, spreading the love

With The Band & the Shirt to Prove It

July 21, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

A while back our dear Aunt Becky from Mommy Wants Vodka mentioned she was looking for help with Band Back Together.

What? You don’t know Band Back Together? You’re not With The Band? You need to be With The Band, people.

I can’t describe what it is any better than the founder did herself:

Band Back Together is a group weblog that provides educational resources as well as a safe, moderated, supportive environment to share stories of survival. Through the power of real stories written by real people, we can work together to destigmatize mental illness, abuse, rape, baby loss and other traumas so that we may learn, grow, and heal.

All are welcome.

That’s it. It’s that simple and that beautiful.

Some of the stories are hard to read. I don’t read them all, I admit. Some of them I just can’t. But I can always provide a supportive comment and that’s really what being With The Band is about.

I know how hard it is to share hard stories. I’ve shared mine here – even the hardest one. But some people can’t do that, or don’t have a place to. (And a lot of people’s stories are WAY harder than mine.)

I also know how much it means when someone says, it’s okay. You’re not alone. You are not defined by that experience or that illness or that tragedy.

Because of that, when Becky asked for help I signed up. I’m doing what I can to promote the site so people have a safe place and I’m doing some other behind-the-scenes work like writing resource pages and stuff. This is all volunteer – the whole site is.

So if you want to get With The Band, it’s easy. Comment. Spread the love. Retweet or Stumble stuff. Buy a t-shirt. Yes, a t-shirt.

Or…win one! I don’t generally do giveaways but I’m doing this one. One lucky person is going to win a Band t-shirt of their choice.

Mandatory entry:

Browse Band Back Together and leave a comment below telling me which resource page you think will help the most people.

For extra entries (leave a separate comment for each entry):

Subscribe to Band Back Together on Google Friend Connect
Follow @bandback2gether on Twitter
Like The Band on Facebook
Tweet about this giveaway. Sorta like this: I’m With The Band and I want a shirt to prove it! Enter to win one with @MamaRobinJ and @bandback2gether http://wp.me/p1z3B0-Ik #giveaway

Want to go all the way?

Write a post about Band Back Together and share the link in the comments. To thank you for your efforts we will not only give you an entry to win a fabulous t-shirt, we’ll also feature your post on the site (somehow – we’ll figure out exactly how) and then you’ll get some love too.

Giveaway will end at midnight (Pacific time) on July 28, 2011 and a winner will be drawn at random.

The small print: I was not compensated for this post (except with Becky’s undying love). I have a Band shirt, which I bought with my own money, and I’m doing this giveaway because I think more people should know about – and support – Band Back Together.

Filed Under: Better world · Tagged With: community, spreading the love

A Spoiler, With Love

July 18, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

The words I want to put on these pages are elusive today. I’m still sick and it’s wearing me down. I have a headache, again, and it’s blocking out the things I want to say. But for so many reasons, today, in particular, I want to say something.

In dedication to my #ppdchat mamas and all those who come here because you need to know you’re not alone, I offer you this, which I trust to be true.

With much love.

R xo

Filed Under: Better world · Tagged With: community, depression, hope, spreading the love

Everybody’s Got a Story

July 5, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

Driving down the road, I see her. A block or so ahead, she’s standing at a bus stop and I notice her immediately because her face is white. Not white as in Caucasian, just white. Really white.

“What is up with her face?!”

The thought crosses my mind before I’m able to catch it, but it’s immediately pushed down by a newer, more understanding voice. The one that reminds me that I have no idea what might be happening for someone else. That she might be sick. That she might be expressing an inner struggle through her outer appearance. That she might just do her makeup that way.

Or maybe it was the way the light reflected off of her. I’ll never know, because I actually didn’t see her face up close as I drove by. I was watching traffic. I was participating in the dialogue in my head and acknowledging its rightness.

Or maybe I wasn’t meant to actually see her and identify the cause. Because it doesn’t matter, does it? We are who we are and, for the most part, it’s not for others to judge.

That ain’t the picture, it’s just a part, sang Amanda Marshall. Everybody’s got a story that could break your heart.

I understand that better now and I know it’s true.

I’ve got my own stories and I’ve been privy to so many others.

For a long time I resented what my experience with depression took from me, but now I appreciate the gifts it’s giving back. Compassion. Understanding. Tolerance. Love. And the honour and endless gratitude that comes with being entrusted with another’s story. Even if – perhaps especially if – it breaks my heart.