Picture in Picture

marble cam image of ferris wheel

Any guesses what this is?

I took this picture with an app that takes a portion of an image, flips it upside down, and puts it in a little bubble so you can see it clearly. All the rest fades to a blur in the background.

I didn’t think of it at the time, but this is an interesting way to look at a situation. Instead of looking at the whole and seeing what you expect to see, pull out a small piece and look at it in a different way.

I tend to be a fairly black and white thinker, at least initially. You’ll occasionally find me planted firmly atop the metaphorical fence, but more often I have a definite viewpoint on things. The good thing (at least I suppose it’s good) is that I’m open to other perspectives and have sometimes been known to be persuaded to take a different stance.

I’ve had my chosen perspective challenged in any number of ways lately: Going back to work and seeing my connections to things and my priorities shift subtly from where I thought they were; letting go of things I thought were a given; accepting that taking a deep breath and a step back is okay, even if it means I have to play a different role.

One such challenge presented itself at work recently. In a very déjà-vu-esque sense I found myself staring down the mouth of a dragon I’ve fought (and been burned by) before. I didn’t want to be there, but I was having a really hard time changing my point of view.

Then a cherished colleague did for me what that app did to this picture – turned a piece of it upside down and gave me another way to look at it. I’m grateful both for her support and her insight, and I may just keep this image on my desk as a reminder.

Is there something you need to think differently about? Try this – grab hold of a part, flip it, turn it, and toss it into the air like a soap bubble. Let it hang. It might tell you a different story than the one you tell yourself.

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Want to know what the photo was originally? Here’s your answer

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I’ve joined Greta from Gfunkified as co-host of #iPPP (iPhone Photo Phun), a weekly link-up that requires nothing more than a blog post with a photo from a phone camera (any phone camera, not just iPhones). We want to see your funny, your yummy, your heartfelt, your favourite phone photos of the week. 

 

iPPP button

 

This Is My Brave

“I wanted share a bit of my story with you and say thank you for sharing yours.”

The best emails I get start this way.

I’m always honoured when someone shares her story with me, and when I get a note of thanks for sharing my experience with postpartum depression it reinforces that the hard parts of sharing a tough story are worth it.

Today I’ve shared a guest post on This Is My Brave about why I think it’s important to speak out about mental health. And it is important – the emails I get tell me so, and I know it firsthand from those I’m thankful to.

I’d love for you to come and read, and while you’re there take some time to read about This Is My Brave the show. Jennifer and Anne Marie are doing a really good, really important, and really brave thing.

Finding Slow Amid Fast

It’s 10:30 p.m. as I write this, a good hour after I had intended to be asleep. The boys were both up at 5:30 this morning and, after busy days both yesterday and today plus too many too-late nights, I’m desperately tired. But Connor is asleep next to me and I don’t want to move him just yet.

When I left work tonight the sky was almost dark – the sort of fading light that comes right before the sun disappears entirely until morning. By the time I wound my way around the roads and through traffic and reached home it was dark dark. Inky blackness all around, with only the lights from cars and street lamps showing the way.

snowy field

This is the way it is now. The sun is just finishing waking up as I leave in the mornings, its rays stretching, reaching out to tinge the clouds with golden pink. My boys are finishing their morning rituals as I exit the house – eating the last few bites of breakfast, choosing clothes for the day, brushing teeth.

When I pull my car into the driveway at night the sun is gone. By the time I get home the boys are finishing dinner and are ready to start heading to bed. We reverse the morning’s routine—getting undressed, putting pyjamas on, brushing teeth—and then the day is done. The night has come. It’s somehow even darker than before, and quiet.

I walked the dog tonight – late enough and dark enough that it felt as though I shouldn’t have to go out again. And it was cold, the kind that bites at your cheeks and leaves them red. It was snowing, and the flakes looked like silver glitter falling from the sky, slowly falling and twirling. But when I caught them with my camera they appeared to whizz, like shooting stars, determined and fast. It felt like an apt metaphor for my days: I’m slowly moving, dancing, twirling, but when I stop to look I realize how fast the days go by.

snow flying in the dark

With the dog walked and one more thing checked off my list, I came back inside and got ready for tomorrow—tidying and making lunch and checking to-do lists—before sitting on my bed with a cup of hot chocolate and my laptop. It’s quiet here, just the way I like it after a day at work, and my LED-light candles glow in the corner.

I suspect that’s what attracted Connor, and why he is now asleep next to me.

LED candles in the darkness

He made a request earlier for a pyjama party with mama and the glowing candles, but Ethan wiggled at bedtime and needed extra cuddles and Connor was in bed by the time I was done. Tomorrow night, I promised him. We’ll have a pyjama party and turn on the candles tomorrow.

The promise wasn’t good enough, apparently. I heard his door open and his small feet coming down the hall. He looked in slyly, expecting me to scoot him back to bed; I didn’t, and when he crawled up on the bed and put his head in my lap I knew he would go back to sleep.

So here I sit. I’ve shuffled him off my lap to get him under the covers and so I can tuck my own feet in, too. He’s nestled against me and if I listen hard I can hear his quiet breathing, but mostly he is silent. It’s a moment of slow in a life filled with fast. It’s unusual, and I relish it.

 

I’ve joined Greta from Gfunkified as co-host of #iPPP (iPhone Photo Phun), a weekly link-up that requires nothing more than a blog post with a photo from a phone camera (any phone camera, not just iPhones). We want to see your funny, your yummy, your heartfelt, your favourite phone photos of the week. Link up below!

GFunkified

What Postpartum Rage Looks Like

As you know, I’ve been a regular contributor to Postpartum Progress for a while now. I still am, but I’m now joined by a whole editorial team, known as the Warrior Mom Leadership Team. Each of these amazing women advocates for postpartum mental health in her own writing or her own work, and now we’ll all take turns throughout the year sharing our voices, our stories, and our hope on the Postpartum Progress blog.

This week is my week on the site, and I’ll be sharing a couple of posts over there. The first one is up now, and it’s my attempt to describe situations and reactions that were typical for me when dealing with postpartum rage. I’m not sure any words can accurately portray what that was like, but it’s my hope this post will make another new mom feel less alone.

Have you experienced this type of thing? I’d love for you to visit and let me know if my descriptions resonate with you.

A Thousand Years

Ethan ready for sledding

You know how sometimes you look at a picture of your child and your heart does that thing where it tries to burst out of your chest? This photo does that for me.

I’m not sure what it is—maybe it’s that he looks like a Gerber baby in this photo or perhaps because he was so willing to let us put him in his new sled without knowing quite what it was all about—but I look at this photo and I think, “My god I love this kid.”

This morning Ethan sat with me while I had a late breakfast (three cheers for weekend sleep-ins) and we sang.

“I have died every day waiting for you
Darling, don’t be afraid I have loved you
For a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more”

I often sang this song to him while we danced around the living room when he was really small because I like it and it made him smile. I had forgotten about it until I heard it in a mall yesterday and I thought it was time we listened to it again.

“And all along I believed I would find you
Time has brought your heart to me
I have loved you for a thousand years
I’ll love you for a thousand more”

I looked at him while we sang and thought, How could I have ever thought you’d never come to me? I’m just still so very grateful for him – my small, blond Gerber baby with the big laugh. I’ve loved him for so long.

(And PS: He loved the sled.)

 

I’ve joined Greta from Gfunkified as co-host of #iPPP (iPhone Photo Phun), a weekly link-up that requires nothing more than a blog post with a photo from a phone camera (any phone camera, not just iPhones). We want to see your funny, your yummy, your heartfelt, your favourite phone photos of the week. Link up below!

GFunkified