I hate the sound the timer makes. Ticking relentlessly to the end. Loudly so as to prevent clear thinking.

I glance at it and see my time is almost up.

Come on, think. There have to be words for these categories.

Nothing? Fine. Think of words that start with ‘t’. Truck… Toad… Toilet… Tampon…

Oh for goodness’ sake. This isn’t working. Those don’t fit any of the categories. Okay, forget choosing words. Focus on the categories.

“Excuses for being late”

‘Threw up!’ There, that’ll work.

“Household chores”

Uh, towel washing? No, that sounds dumb. Okay, um…toilet scrubbing! Hey, ‘toilet’ fit after all!

“Things that bother you”

Um… Uh… Oh for crying out loud! Everything bothers me. Surely one of them starts with a T. Wait! Tina Turner! Double score! Except she doesn’t bother me, so does that count? Whatever. I can lie.

The timer keeps ticking.

“Foreign cities.”

My brain goes blank. I visualize a world map, but all I can picture is each country a different colour.

Come on, think of a city! Oh! Turkmenistan. That can’t be spelled right – it looks too simple. I think it has a ‘j’ in it. Turkmejnistan. No, that doesn’t look right either. Good lord! Stop wasting time. They won’t know how it’s spelled either.

“Things in the bedroom.”

Hee hee.

I giggle, but I’ve got nothing.

“Vegetables.”

That’s got brain fart written all over it so I skip it.

“Lunch food.”

Easy peasy! Tur…

CLICK!

Stupid timer.

***

My husband (the sporadic blogger) is an artist, and he rocks word games. I’m a word nerd, and I really, really don’t.

I don’t play Scrabble because I just stare at the tiles looking for words to jump out at me, then get lazy and put down words like “ant” that give me about 2 points.

Word jumbles? Can’t do ’em.

But I will play Scattergories. The tradition started years ago with a friend. She lives in another city, and when my husband and I visited we’d haul out the red box.

Our friend is pretty good. She comes up with good words, something for most categories, and often scores multiple points for nailing alliteration.

My husband has never, in my recollection, missed a category. He always has a word for whatever letter we’re using. And he scores multiple points on something in every round.

As for me, my paper usually looks like I had to pee in the middle of the round and forgot to come back.

***

The timer has spoken so we compare notes.

“A song that starts with ‘t’.”

My answer: Uh, er, couldn’t think of a song.

My husband’s answer: Tiptoe Through the Tulips by Tiny Tim.

Are you freaking kidding me? We’re two categories into scoring and he has seven points already?!

He gloats. He’s good at that.

Our friend starts singing the song, which doesn’t help my humiliation.

We keep scoring. My husband gets multiple points on several of the categories.

He gloats a little more, so I laugh at him for not only knowing the tulip song but who sang it.

My friend starts singing it again, so I laugh at her for knowing the words AND the tune.

And then we roll the dice and play again.

Quick, someone give me something you’d find in your fridge that starts with ‘R’!

***

Disclaimer: looking at list 6 now, it’s freakishly easy. Apparently I don’t do well under pressure, but either way I suck at the alliteration points. And my husband better not get too used to winning, because with the vocabulary and sharp mind Connor already has his dad’s going to have to bring his A game if he wants to keep winning.

Prompt: Recall the games you played when you were young.