Finally. We’re all one med dose away from an insane asylum.
Excuse me while I disappear for a bit to unpack. Further updates as events warrant.
On the Road to Wisdom
November 27, 2011 by ·
Wisdom ceases to be wisdom when it becomes too proud to weep, too grave to laugh, and too selfish to seek other than itself.
~ Khalil Gibran
At the beginning of this year I did two things: I started this blog and I joined a One Little Word class. I thought I’d write here a bit and see where it went, and here I am almost a year later, fully immersed. I thought I’d dive right into the One Little Word class and do all the exercises, and almost a year later I haven’t done many of them but my word is fully immersed in my life.
I had a tough time choosing the word, and was skeptical about the common “the word will choose you” reassurance. Initially I thought I’d choose “improve” as my word because that’s what I wanted to do in many areas of my life. But thinking that was a good word was really a symptom of my problem, and luckily I came to my senses and realized that was too self-critically negative.
And then my word chose me.
I don’t remember how it happened. It just came to me one day, I think, and that was that. I didn’t know what it meant at the time, but I do now.
Seek.
verb, sought, seek·ing.
–verb (used with object)
1. to go in search or quest of: to seek the truth.
2. to try to find or discover by searching or questioning: to seek the solution to a problem.
3. to try to obtain: to seek fame.
4. to try or attempt (usually fol. by an infinitive): to seek to convince a person.
5. to go to: to seek a place to rest.
6. to ask for; request: to seek advice.
7. Archaic: to search or explore.
For too long I was too proud to weep (figuratively, anyway, or at least in public) and too grave to laugh. I lost sight of what was important.
Actually, I don’t think I knew what was important.
I do now. In part, at least. I was seeking something I didn’t know was lost, and now I’ve started to find my way back to it.
I was seeking myself.
This search (journey? quest?) has led me places I would not have anticipated a year ago, and now a new stage is beginning.
A new home.
A new place.
A new start.
I look forward to where seeking wisdom will take me, and what part of myself I will find on the way there.
Linked up with:
The Just.Be.Enough team is so thankful to have been partnering with Striiv on our Striiv 2 Be Enough month-long challenge. Now it is our turn to give back to one of you! Enter to win a chance to own your very own Striiv fitness device just by linking up an “I am striving for” post on Just.Be.Enough this week.
A winner will be chosen among the linked posts (remember that the linky closes on Wednesday 11/30 at 11:59 pm EST) using random.org on Thursday (12/1) morning. The winner will be notified by email and will have 24 hours to reply with a mailing address and telephone number or another winner will be selected.
To be entered:
- Link an “I am Striving for” Be Enough Me post in the linky, AND
- Comment on the JBE post to let us know that you would like to win your OWN Striiv.
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And don’t forget about our first EVER Twitter party!
We are so excited to host a “Striiv to Be Enough” event where we’ll be discussing getting moving and putting ourselves first as we strive to live healthy lives full of movement.
Plus, we’re offering amazing prizes that you will NOT want to miss! You must RSVP and be present during most of the event to be eligible to win prizes.
When: Tuesday, November 29th, 8-9 pm EST/5-6 pm PST
Where: On Twitter!
Follow: @JustBeEnough and hashtag #Striiv2BEnough
RSVP here
The Two Thieves
November 6, 2011 by ·
I’ll always remember a certain piece of advice my mom gave me years and years ago:
You’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the things you did.
I’m not sure I really understood it at first. I was, at the time, young enough to be focused on all the things I hated about myself. (I’ve since grown older and wiser.) I did something embarrassing at school and regretted it. I didn’t study hard enough for that math test and regretted it (even though I certainly didn’t want a do-over). All those things I thought meant something.
As I got older I started to realize what my mom meant. All those things contribute to a life and are part of what make me who I am (do not ask me to do math, I beseech you). But I’ve long since learned they aren’t what’s important.
What’s important is what we choose to do – deliberately and with purpose, no matter how hard it may be. And in thinking about the things I might not do because I’m scared, I came to understand what my mom meant about regretting the things you don’t do more than the things you do. I thought it was brilliant and therefore so was she.
When I look back, there are many things that were hard or embarrassing or just plain awful, but I don’t actually regret any of them.
Image credit: Steve-h on Flickr
I don’t regret my weeks of being homesick at the beginning of a four-month exchange I went on to Germany when I was 15. It taught me that I’m stronger than I give myself credit for.
I don’t regret choosing a university closer to home instead of a more adventurous-sounding one across the country. That choice led me to my husband and the family I have now.
I don’t regret sticking with a job I initially hated. It gave me some really good experience and a foundation for what I want in my work.
Sometimes I wish I had tried harder to get Connor to sleep when he was a baby, but I don’t actually know if it would have helped. In any case, wishing won’t make it so.
I don’t even regret my horrible experience with PPD. I don’t regret the agony or the anger, the misery, the number of doctors I saw without getting a diagnosis or even the horrible psychiatrist. I don’t regret having to take time off work or spending a few months on a bunch of different medications so I could get through each day, minute by minute. That experience has taught me about life, myself, what I value, and what I can do when I do what’s right.
I certainly don’t regret anything I’ve posted on this blog.
“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves – regret for the past and fear of the future.”
~ Fulton Oursler
And now I’m about to enter a new phase. We’ve been discussing this move for a long time – years, actually, even if only in a hypothetical, wouldn’t-it-be-great-if kind of way. One of the reasons we didn’t do it before was fear. My fear. But I think it’s time to do it.
It’s nerve-wracking to have so much change all at once, especially after a period of instability. But I’m okay with that. I think the change will be a good thing, and now that we’ve bought a house and know where we’re going to be three weeks from now I’m getting totally excited.
But I’m still scared. I’m scared to be that far from my parents, even if it (hopefully) turns out to be temporary if they move as well. I’m worried about having made a decision that will mean Connor won’t see his grandparents regularly, and that they won’t see him.
That’s the part that makes me feel sick to my stomach. Not the move, not the job, not leaving everything else that has been my world for so long. It’s my parents – their support and their time with my son. But I think we have to do it. I think it’s the right thing to do. So I’ll accept the fear in place of regret. The two thieves – I’ll avoid one by embracing the other.
And live with no regrets.
We hope you will read, comment, link up,
and explore the stories of others who have joined in.
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Every Monday join us…
Write, post, link up, share your story and your voice.
Be part of carrying the weight of confidence and share our mission
to empower, inspire, and remind women, parents and children
that the time has come to celebrate ourselves!
Next week’s prompt: What is one image or symbol that
reminds you that are you enough?
(Remember you can also write on a topic of your choice.)
30 gifts for 30 strangers [video]
November 2, 2011 by ·
This is just happy – 2 minutes and 45 seconds of happy – and I wanted to share it with you.
