gratitude Archives - Page 4 of 24 -

Behind This Moment

June 10, 2013 by Farewell Stranger ·

This is a moment in time, but it’s also a feeling.

It’s when they can both lie on Daddy, and it’s looking at my family and how they just fit.

It’s seeing them all together on one couch, and it’s knowing that in what will feel like mere moments we won’t all be under the same roof.

It’s when both of them are little enough for me to pick up, and it’s knowing exactly what their small bodies feel like in my arms.

It’s when one looks so big next to his baby brother, and it’s wishing for a pause button because I know I won’t have this view for long.

It’s looking at my smallest while he’s still a baby, and it’s wondering what he will be like as a boy and then a man.

It’s looking at my biggest in the week before he turns five, and it’s knowing this is the last summer he will still seem like a little boy.

It’s seeing what looks like a dog-pile on their dad, and it’s knowing part of him wishes he could keep them that way forever.

It’s looking at my three boys, and it’s not being able to imagine life any other way.

Filed Under: Motherhood · Tagged With: family, gratitude, moments

Time Travel Smiles

May 19, 2013 by Farewell Stranger ·

A simple post today, inspired by Sarah at The Sunday Spill and her post Because Everything Feels Lighter at Present.

We stayed here —the Banff Springs Hotel—last night. It’s incredible.

My mom worked in the dining room here in the 60s. The hotel is celebrating its 125th anniversary and she went up for an alumni weekend, except—crazy lady that she is—she didn’t stay the second night and gave it to us instead. AND she took Connor home with her; we kept Ethan and had a lovely night to ourselves.

Banff is where we went for the day on last weekend’s ill-fated Mother’s Day and, at the time, we had no idea we’d be back again so soon, and in such a beautiful setting. We met my mom in the afternoon after her visits and tours etc., and had a chance to wander around and go for dinner. She told us stories about working at the hotel, some of which I knew and some I didn’t. She talked about how she ended up there and what she did. She told us who her friends were and why that time in her life mattered.

This morning we had breakfast in a beautifully furnished lounge with windows that look out over the mountains, which we had to ourselves because apparently no one else had discovered that you can sit in there. Rich mentioned that he had wandered through the gallery that showcases the history of the hotel and saw a 1920s-era picture of people sitting on the ledge right outside the window we were sitting by. The view, apparently, looked almost exactly the same. I found myself wishing someone had perfected time travel so we could go back and surreptitiously stand there as they were having their picture taken. Wouldn’t you love to have the ability to take everything you know now and go back in time to appreciate a place as it was years and years ago? I would spend a lot of my time popping invisibly into scenes and pondering what life would have been like in the same places but at very different times.

And so it was, as you can imagine, a lovely day. An unexpected, quiet night at a nice hotel is a beautiful thing, but I’m especially grateful that I got to see my mom and hear her stories in that environment. It made me smile. It’s as close as I’ll ever get to travelling back in time to be there with her when she was young.

Filed Under: Happy things · Tagged With: family, favourite activities, gratitude, living life, weekends

Just Say the Word

May 16, 2013 by Farewell Stranger ·

Everyone needs help once in a while.

My kids have been sick and my husband’s away and a couple of meals would really help.

But asking for help is hard.

Some days are really long and I could use a play date so my kids and I aren’t in each others’ faces all the time.

I’m lucky to be part of a group of women where this isn’t a problem.

My dad needs help and I can’t get there for a few days. Can someone help him?

Need help? Ask for help. Several will respond.

I just had surgery and I need someone to drive my oldest to school tomorrow.

Notice someone struggling? Nominate her for help. Spread the love.

Some baking would be lovely.

It doesn’t have to be big things. Sometimes the little things are what we need most.

Ask for help. Offer help.

We all need help sometimes.

I feel incredibly lucky to have found a group of friends here from whom I can ask for help when needed and offer help when asked. It really is a blessing and I wish that for everyone.

Filed Under: Happy things · Tagged With: call for back-up, community, gratitude, spreading the love

Explore: Life in Pictures, Vol. 4

May 2, 2013 by Farewell Stranger ·

Alternatively titled: How to Make a Thursday Feel Like a Saturday

We had an adventure last week. The exploring kind. More for me, I guess, since we went somewhere I hadn’t been before that Rich had (and he has the scar to remember it by). It was somewhere I’ve wanted to go since we moved here and now that we’ve been I have no idea why we didn’t go sooner. It’s a town not all that far from here that’s best known for its dinosaurs. The real kind, and, as it turns out, the kind people put on signs to make the most of the millions-of-years-old tourist attraction dinosaurs create.

I figured it would be fun to go, and a dinosaur-themed day was sure to be a hit with Connor. Rich suggested a couple of other stops along the way and, like any good explorer, I was game.

And, oh, was it a good day.

Here, then, is how to make a Thursday feel like a Saturday. It’s really not hard at all.

1. Put your kids in the car and drive for an hour and a half until the landscape looks like something from another planet.

2. Climb up high.

3. Take the opportunity to admire the view and get some perspective.

4. (If you do it on the day your baby gets his first tooth, you end up with a sad little dinosaur.)

5. But he’s a good sport about it, so play with him anyway.

5. Find the world’s largest dinosaur.

5. Climb into its mouth. (Resist the urge to add to your four-year-old’s terror over the situation by making loud roaring noises.)

5. Decide to see what happens if you take the aforementioned scaredy-cat child to a museum with actual dinosaurs.

6. Clarify that the dinosaurs aren’t really real, because the four-year-old thinks real means alive and he seems convinced that the Tyrannosaurus is going to eat him. (Secretly think he’s lucky he’s behaving well that day, otherwise you might have been tempted to see if T-Rex wanted a nibble.) Then measure him next to a dinosaur’s foot (but don’t point out that the dinosaur could crush with one toe any small boys who throw things at their little brothers).

7. Watch your boys draw. Smile.

8. Then get up close and personal with a wooly mammoth (without the wool).

9. Head back out and find some dirt to play in.

10. Ponder life and the elements and the meaning of time in the context of evidence of the millennia that created amazing things.

11. Be grateful you live in a place that offers such diversions close enough to do them as day trips with your kids.

12. Finish exploring and hit the highway so you’re home in time for dinner.

But stop for ice cream first.

Filed Under: Happy things · Tagged With: family, favourite activities, gratitude, living life, One word, photos

Deep Breaths and Thank Yous

April 8, 2013 by Farewell Stranger ·

I do have a tendency to barf things out there, don’t I? Sometimes it just helps to put it out there instead of pretending things are okay and silently screaming.

So, thank you. Thank you for listening and commenting and sending me messages to let me know you’re out there. It helps. It really does.

One of the worst things about this is feeling alone. And none of us is, which is the lovely thing about writing here. I get reassured that some of you have been here and know what this feels like, and some of you reading this realize it’s not just you either.

We’re not alone.

The good news is that today was better. We’ve adopted a new strategy for dealing with nights because, while I don’t feel like I know what I’m doing with this whole getting-babies-to-sleep thing, I do know one thing: My very chunky baby does not need to be fed two or three times a night. So I’m currently living in that weird place where the air is mostly filled with hope but the scent of desperation still lingers, and I’m afraid that if I breathe too deeply I’ll inhale the fear lurking outside. It’s the fear that this won’t work, because if this doesn’t work I have no earthly idea what to do next. But for now fear shall not rule; I’m going to keep taking deep breaths.

Okay.

Let’s talk about something else for a minute. Speaking of thank yous, I so appreciate your support for the stuff I’m writing elsewhere. I’m in full swing with my new Yummy Mummy Club blog, starting with a post about second chances and a bit of a thank-goodness-it’s-not-me post about babysitting my brother’s twins. I’ve got another one coming up this week where I’m looking for advice on helping a four-year-old make friends and I’d love it if you’d look out for that one too.

And, since it’s one of the most common search terms that leads people here, I’ve shared a version of my postpartum rage story on Huffington Post. I just think we need to talk about that more.

Filed Under: Postpartum depression · Tagged With: community, gratitude, hope, we're not alone