hope Archives - Page 7 of 11 -

Stronger Than Cancer

September 4, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

Her hair is falling out already.

After only one chemotherapy session, her hair is falling out.

After being diagnosed with breast cancer, she stepped up. Stared it down. Took charge.

She had surgery.

Just do it.

This next step is no different. Chemo is taking her hair and she’s willing to lose it all. But on her terms.

Status: I am shaving my head this morning.

An outpouring of love.

You can do it. You are more than your hair. You are beautiful. SO PROUD.

I smiled.

Good for her.

And then she posted pictures.

In the first one, a stylist tackled her long blond tresses.

She did it on her terms.

In the second, her hair was mostly gone. A curtain framed her face but otherwise only stubble remained.

On her terms.

My heart swelled with pride.

You look like the badass you are, I said. So incredibly proud of you for posting these photos. SO, SO proud.

Proud doesn’t even begin to cover it.

I’m not sure I’m brave enough to post the next one, she said.

You are, I told her.

You are brave enough. Go and look in the mirror – sans wig – and really look at yourself.

You are not your hair.

You are your eyes and your smile.

You are laugh lines.

You are your hands – the ones that hold your child.

You are brave and beautiful.

And your hair has nothing to do with it.

Her hair has nothing to do with it.

She’ll wear a wig, because she has a little girl – only three, her birthday is one day after my son’s – and little girls don’t understand cancer.

The wig will make a lot of things easier but, when she looks in the mirror, sans wig, I want her to know:

She is strong.

She is beautiful.

And her hair has nothing to do with it.

***

She’s doing an amazing job loving herself through this, but if she stumbles we’ll do it for her.

(I heart Martina.)

Last week we had 36 people link up an enough-themed post in our Be Enough Me for Cancer campaign and I’d love it if you’d help us boost that number again. For every 20 linked up posts, Bellflower Books will provide a memory book to a woman fighting breast cancer and help bring a smile to courageous women giving it their all, every single day. The link up opens on Monday morning and remains open for three days. No blog? No worries. You can also comment on the post or on the Just.Be.Enough. Facebook page with your own story and be counted.

xo

Filed Under: Better world, Hard things · Tagged With: Be enough me, community, hope, spreading the love, we're not alone

Let the Light In

August 23, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

I am so happy to welcome Leighann (aka Multitasking Mumma) to my blog today. I asked her if she would guest post for me, and she sent me this beautiful post. I wish I had written it myself.

***

Warm, welcoming sun sent dust dancing in its rays each morning and from my spot on the couch I yearned to dance with it.

But I couldn’t let the light in.

The pull of sadness, loneliness, and depression kept me in the shadows.

Sultry breezes called to me from the darkness, pulling at my arms and wrapping around my face.

But I couldn’t let the light in.

I was trapped inside the darkness, struggling to find the light I could see, the warmth I could feel, the freedom I remembered.

But I couldn’t let the light in.

I was weak; exhaustion and the fear of admitting failure held me hostage.

I ached to let the light in.

If I reached out my arm and allowed the kindness, love, and understanding from friends and family wash over me what might happen?

If I admitted that I needed help, that I couldn’t do this alone, that I am not perfect, then what?

If I opened my arms and let the light in, accepting my struggle, my challenges, and my climb would it get harder?

Yes.

But it will get better.

If you let the light in.

***
Thank you so much, Leighann. You are one of the bright lights in my life. xo

Filed Under: Guest posts · Tagged With: community, depression, hope, spreading the love, we're not alone

Tele-porters and Virtual Hugs

August 20, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

I woke up on Friday to a barrage of tweets for one of my fellow #PPDChat mamas and immediately knew something had happened. Something good.

Our dear friend Pam reached out earlier this week on Twitter and Band Back Together for help. I’ll admit – the depth of her despair freaked me out. I spent a whole lot of time tweeting, sending DMs, and replying to her post. I just needed to do something. Anything. And it felt like it wasn’t enough.

Pam isn’t the only one I’ve desperately wanted to help. If I had any aptitude for inventions I would invent a tele-porter so I could go and see these beautiful mamas when they need a hug. I can’t fix these problems for them – each of us has to work at that ourselves. But a big part of being able to do that is having support. And that is something I can provide, even if that hug is just virtual.

So that’s what I did for Pam – sent hugs and love and support. And then I stalked her Twitter stream, because when someone’s in crisis it’s hard not to do that. I also had the #PPDChat stream open in Tweetdeck and it was constantly scrolling with new tweets, almost all of them directed at Pam. It was like watching a wave of love roll up the screen.

I’ve written about #PPDChat before. It’s an amazing and beautiful thing, and it saved me on a few occasions over the last few months when I needed help RIGHT NOW. It’s so powerful I don’t even know how to put it into words. We have a private Facebook group, which is a great place to share some of the stuff we don’t want in our Twitter streams. But often when one of us needs someone we go to Twitter because we know, without a doubt, that there’s always someone there. We can call on that army, even in the middle of the night, and someone – another mama who can’t sleep or someone in another time zone – will answer. It has never failed me.

It didn’t fail Pam, either. She got that love and it got her through.

So Friday morning, when I saw the #PPDChat stream fill up again with tweets for her, I smiled. She did what she needed to do – she’s going for help, and we’re all going with her.

I don’t have a tele-porter, so I couldn’t get to Pam to give her a hug before she walked through the hospital doors. But the events of this week made me realize that I don’t need to panic about not having some weird device to get me there. (It would probably splinch me anyway.)

We are enough.

Our love is enough.

Our words – our virtual hugs – are enough to save a life.

The Be Enough Me link-up is especially powerful right now – for one month, starting Aug. 22, Bellflower Books is sponsoring us to provide memory books for women fighting breast cancer. Details here – please write about your Be Enough Me feeling and come and link up!

Filed Under: Happy things · Tagged With: Be enough me, call for back-up, community, depression, gratitude, hope, spreading the love, we're not alone

For Anyone Who’s Ever Lost Something

August 14, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

But especially for my sister-friend, CH.

Filed Under: Better world · Tagged With: hope, love, spreading the love, we're not alone

The Beginning of BlogHer ’11 in Photos

August 3, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

I have arrived in San Diego.

I have been greeted by sunshine and palm trees.

I have been greeted by friends.

Elena and I spent the afternoon wandering around. We took the ferry to Coronado and had ice cream, and it felt like we were in a little seaside town somewhere very far away.