It’s the Royal Wedding edition of Fledgling Friday! Okay, so I’m not a superfan, but we are PVRing all 19 hours of it (or however long it all goes on for). I hope all you new bloggers will be able to find time to link up this week in between sips of tea at your 4 am party or tomorrow after you nap off the royalty hangover.
Helping Me Find My Inner “Good Mom”
“Write about a woman who helped you,” was the request, but who among the countless options to choose? I could write about my mother, who probably tops that list. But I did that recently. I could write about my sisters, but I can’t yet adequately articulate the gratitude I feel for what they’ve done for me. So I’m going to write about someone else – someone who helped me just this morning, in fact.
Yael Saar has actually been helping me in the virtual world for a while and then she offered to speak on the phone, which we did this morning. She gave me a welcome push toward addressing the one issue in my PPD battle I have felt I can’t solve.
I struggle with my son, who’s quite spirited (as I’ve noted). I appreciate this spirit but it triggers me, pushing me over the edge into reactions I can’t control. A lot of his behaviour is normal – throwing food, flinging his toothbrush across the room, refusing to stay in bed, hitting when he gets worked up – but he does it with a special enthusiasm.
My reaction to this has been to try to control it. You don’t want to brush your teeth? Fine, I’ll hold you down and do it for you. You don’t want me to put these clothes on you? Then we’re not going to the play date.
Not surprisingly, it’s not working. And more, it’s prolonging this battle and making it harder to fight. My biggest fear is that the ultimate ending to this saga is going to be me saying, “I love you, but I can’t live with you.”
Yael’s suggestions were a lightning bolt, shocking my brain into functioning properly. She encouraged me to think about command vs. respect, independence instead of forcing my way, and to try to understand what causes his rebellion to find ways to avoid the things that trigger him.
This perspective was a gift – perfectly timed to pull me a little further away from the hole of hopelessness. The next step is up to me, but I will be forever grateful to Yael for pointing me in the right direction.
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Versatile Blogger Award
Awards season is in full swing here at Farewell, Stranger. The lovely – and very brave – Naomi from Confessions of a Momaholic has awarded me the Versatile Blogger Award.
According to the rules, I’m supposed to tell you 7 things about myself. I already had to do this when I got the Stylish Blogger Award so now have to think of 7 more that will make me sound interesting. Here goes:
- I have 3 siblings and 2 half siblings. I didn’t grow up with those 2, but my whole sense of what family is about is due to having had a big family growing up. There’s no way I could ever have 4 kids, but it makes me a little sad that Connor’s childhood will be different – and somehow less – because his won’t be like mine was.
- I hate licorice.
- I was vegetarian for a few years when I was in university but chicken brought me back.
- I only drink black tea. Never met an herbal tea I could get down.
- I really like the Muppets (I even incorporate them into presentations I do for my work) and we used “Somebody’s getting married” as one of our wedding songs.
- We considered naming Connor Jackson but then realized since we intended to use Michael as his middle name that would be sort of…unfortunate.
- I watched the movie “Annie” countless times when I was in about grade 4. I counted how many times I’d seen it but lost track after 27.
Now that I’ve revealed all this nerdy stuff about me, it’s my pleasure to pass this award on to 15 other bloggers. (Yes, 15. That seems crazy but I don’t make the rules.)
The award goes to:
- Leighann from The Endless Rant of a Multitasking Mumma, who started blogging at the same time I did. She writes honestly about her PPD but she’s also funny and frequently very good when you’re looking for a touching post about babyhood.
- Denelle from Caitlin’s Concepts. Denelle doesn’t hide her crazy, but she’s got a stare-life-in-the-face attitude that comes through in her posts. Plus she’s funny. Plus she rocks responses to The Red Dress Club writing prompts.
- James from James & Jax. She’s another in the PPD army, but wow, is she ever versatile. Beyond PPD, she writes about her goals, her thoughts in response to Thought-Provoking Thursday questions and everyday-life stuff with her little guy. Her appreciation for things really comes through in her posts.
- If you haven’t checked out this blog before you really need to. The 21st Century Mrs is hysterical. And she draws. She even drew a giraffe just for me because one day I needed one. Before that she drew bears and after that she drew a stabby meat cleaver. That’s versatility, people.
- If you visit Mommy is in timeout! you will find Elena writing about taking time to have fun with her two boys on Crazy Mommy Mondays, recipes, and all kinds of other things in addition to her timeout reading suggestions, which I’m honoured to have been featured in three times.
- One day I caught a tweet about wishing more people would comment on blogs. I got in to a conversation with Tonya from Letters for Lucas about it and we ended up being comment buddies for a bit. Somewhere along the way hers has become one of the blogs I always read. I love her stories – about her son, her parents’ deaths, the ways she takes time for herself. She reflects on things and then describes them so others know just what she means. Plus she’s become one of my biggest supporters, and for that I just love her. (I am aware that she’s received this award before, but I am choosing to give it to her again.)
- Wanna see how a web-savvy chick who’s new to blogging gets her blogging ball rolling? Check out Bluebird’s Nest. She has a wee babe and a tweenager, she’s smart, she’s determined and she’s adventurous. (She’s also a friend and colleague.) Robin’s currently getting ready for the trip of a lifetime and I’m looking forward to reading all about it.
- I stick to one style of writing, more or less, but Jenna (or Frelle, as she is known) doesn’t. Poetry, narrative, memoir – doesn’t matter. It’s all poetic. No matter what she’s writing about, she puts her soul on every page and I think it’s beautiful
- Some people start blogging and seem to immediately get it. Mama Track is one of those blogs. She went from Harvard lawyer to work at home mom, which makes for some great blog. I can’t even remember how I found her, but I’m so glad I did. She reads all my stuff and is so supportive – one of those people I’d love to meet in real life. (While I was putting together this post, someone else gave her this same award. Can you believe it?! The nerve. But I love her so I refuse to take her off my list.)
- Someone else I connected with via Twitter is Liz from NorthShoreMommy. After tweeting with her and reading her blog for a while, I want to move in next door and establish a mutual support society. Except she’s moving. So her adventure will continue in a different way and I’ll still follow along.
- Some blogs are all “my kids are so cute!” and “look how perfect my life is”. (I think. I don’t read those blogs.) Not Jayne’s. She’s another one of those beautifully honest writers who manages to still be funny.
- Pamela strikes me as a totally funky person. Unfortunately for her, she’s riding the same PPD rollercoaster I am, but she always manages to bring it on her blog.
- When I first saw Carrie’s blog, The Sweetest, I was totally drawn in by her blog design. I won’t lie – I want it. If she ever decides to redesign her site, I’m calling dibs on that design. But that’s not why I think she deserves this award – take a look at her categories. From the kitchen. Lifestyle. Marriage. Parenting. Versatile, baby.
- A good friend of mine tells me I inspired her to blog. For some people starting a blog takes but a click. For others, it’s part of a process of determining who you want to be and how you want to express yourself. I think Kim’s doing it beautifully, so head on over and show her some new-blogger love.
- The last – and not least, of course – is Devan from Accustomed Chaos. If you haven’t visited Devan, you really need to. She survived 10 miscarriages and instead of wallowing she set up a site to support others following miscarriage, stillbirth and neonatal loss. On her own blog, she covers all sots of topics including gentle parenting and gluten free living. I haven’t met her in person, but I’d be willing to bet she’s one of the kindest people I would ever have the privilege to meet.
So that’s it – 15 women who inspire me, support me and demonstrate why all this bloggy-ness matters.
There’s more to come from the (virtual) red carpet. The amazing Multitasking Mumma has given me the Stylish Blogger Award (again! She clearly hasn’t seen my sweat pant collection). Over the next while I’ll be pondering on whom to bestow this next honour. Are you stylish? Want an award? Let me know – I’m accepting nominations (self or otherwise).
Thanks again to Naomi!