spreading the love Archives

Mom of the Year

June 19, 2012 by Farewell Stranger ·

There’s a someecard making the rounds right now that I totally relate to.

And — to be clear — it’s not because I’m one of those moms. I only wish. But I know many of those moms. Except the ones I think of aren’t the supermoms. (Well, some of them are.)

When you struggle with motherhood, as I do, moms who can do things I can’t or am just no good at are my heros. I see them and think I wish I could be like that. I wonder How does she do it? I ask myself Doesn’t she find this hard like I do? (And then of course there’s What’s wrong with me? But let’s not go there.)

I know many of these moms. [Read more…]

Filed Under: Motherhood, Stuff I like · Tagged With: I was paid for this but it doesn't mean I'm not genuinely interested, spreading the love

On Mother’s Day

May 13, 2012 by Farewell Stranger ·

I had a small person in bed with me early this morning. (Note to self: never post on Facebook about how well your child is sleeping.) I enjoyed the cuddles though, and figured that was a nice way to start Mother’s Day.

When he woke up for good, he jumped out of bed and ran downstairs. I could hear the pantry door opening and closing, and knew he was going to get the surprise he had made for me at preschool. (Except it wasn’t a surprise because he had told me what it was.) He came back up and promptly started to open my gift. It was a small box he had decorated, with a picture of him and a poem on the lid, and it was filled with Hershey’s kisses. It was very sweet, and I will keep that box as one of my treasures, but it was the sheer joy and pride with which he presented this gift that I will always remember. That feeling is what being a mother is all about.

***

In celebration of Mother’s Day, I’d like to point you to two beautiful things.

There’s a Mother’s Day Rally today on Postpartum Progress. Every hour on the hour you’ll find a letter from an amazing writer to new moms. The stories come from those who have suffered – and survived – a postpartum illness, and I have no doubt you’ll be inspired (whether you’re a PPD survivor or not). My letter will be posted at 7 p.m. ET, and I’m honoured to be part of this group on this special day.

Another wonderful place, not just today but every day, is Mamas’ Comfort Camp. This is a Facebook group started by my beautiful friend Yael from Postpartum Depression to Joy. I’ll let her describe what it’s about:

This group is a refueling station, where mamas from all over the world come together to vent, stomp, laugh, cheer, high-five, and, more than anything, share deeply, and support each other in a completely safe space.

It’s open to anyone, and it’s not just about PPD. It truly is a space where you can do all that. Read Yael’s post about the group for more and to find out how to join. I’d love to see you there.

And finally, I leave you with this, which I know to be true. Happy Mother’s Day.

Filed Under: Happy things, Motherhood, Postpartum depression · Tagged With: community, spreading the love, we're not alone

Farewell Susan

February 6, 2012 by Farewell Stranger ·

I have tears tonight for someone I never met. She just appeared, as new blog friends do, and I came to know her name and her face. I read her blog – not always, but occasionally, as is often the case when I come across someone I’m just getting to know whose words reach out from the computer screen and touch something in me.

If the blogosphere is made up of circles she and I danced in ours, occasionally crossing paths and sharing a word or a smile on the way by.

One day I was on Twitter and realized I wasn’t following her. I fixed that straight away, naturally, and not long after I got the notification that she had followed me too. We both laughed. “How could I not have been following you?” “I know! I thought that too!” Maybe we had just assumed. Maybe it was a Twitter goblin unfollowing people without my permission. Either way, we both fixed that link in our circles.

And so we danced.

I saw her around, we shared a few comments, I read her blog.

She seemed better, and then got sick, and the community rallied. I sent her a Lego figure, because No Princess Fights Alone.

She wasn’t well, and I watched her updates with fear and hope and little understanding of what it must be like to fight cancer for five years. To fight it and beat it and fight it again, on and on while your two small boys stand by.

There are no words except goodbye, because today our community lost one of our lights and tonight my world is darker because of it.

Susan – @whymommy – you were loved. And will be missed.

Filed Under: Hard things · Tagged With: community, spreading the love

Winner of the 2011 in Photos Link-up

January 3, 2012 by Farewell Stranger ·

Huge thanks to everyone who linked up with me to say farewell to 2011 in photos. We had 26 entries in total (which thrilled me no end, let me tell you). I really enjoyed seeing everyone’s photos and getting a sense of how you look back on the last year.

And now, according to random.org, the winner of the Brave Girls Club Soul Restoration I workshop is…

Tracie (aka FromTracie)

Congrats, Tracie!

And thanks again to everyone who played along. All the best for 2012!

Filed Under: Happy things · Tagged With: spreading the love

Gratitude, Comment Love and Something Entirely Unrelated

January 3, 2012 by Farewell Stranger ·

Confession: The revision history on my last post is RIDICULOUS. I edited it over and over and just could not get it right.

It actually started off as my blogging anniversary post, and it was directed at those of you who come here and read and offer support. I wanted to tell you how much that has meant to me over the last year. How much it means to me now.

Writing about something as personal as depression—especially in the moment, as so many of my posts were—feels incredibly vulnerable. I wrote about those things because I needed to have them live somewhere other than inside my own head, but there was also a part of me that wanted to hear I wasn’t alone. And wow, am I ever NOT ALONE.

Image credit: Joffley on Flickr

Over the last year I have come to realize just how many people struggle with depression and anxiety, and I hate that there are just SO many. But I love that there is so much support out there too, and that it’s becoming more and more okay to admit to these things.

So in the end, after realizing that it simply wasn’t working, I wrote something more simple for that anniversary post and said what I really wanted to say, which is: Thank you for loving me. But I didn’t give up on the rabbit.

I played around with that post some more and eventually decided it was actually about something different. And then it got to a point where I thought it was good enough, so I published it.

And then you all took over.

I’ve had so many incredible comments and messages and re-tweets on that post. It seems I struck a nerve. I keep trying to respond to those comments, and I will, but right now I don’t really know what to say. It’s all making me feel a bit weepy.

So again: Thank you.

On a related note, if you want another glimpse into why it’s so important for us to write about depression and have it be acceptable, go and read the latest post by The Bloggess. Jenny, if you don’t know her already, is absolutely, stunningly hilarious. But she also deals with mental illness. She writes about that pretty openly, but this post really blows the doors off. Go, read, and give her some love.

And now sometimes entirely unrelated…

I wasn’t actually planning to post today because I signed up for NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) for January, where the goal is to write a post a day for the whole month. And after I signed up I decided that was crazy, so I intended to cheat (sort of) and just direct you to my Just.Be.Enough. post today. But then you were all so nice and I kind of got sidetracked writing this.

Anyway… I did write a post for Just.Be.Enough. today and it’s about Spanx. See? Entirely unrelated.

I’m going to close comments on this one, so please either visit me at Just.Be.Enough. or go and give Jenny some comment love. (She’s already got over 1,000 comments, but what’s a movement if not something that really takes off?)