spreading the love Archives

This I Know For Sure

September 2, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

The (tired) part of my brain that follows little Internet rabbit holes has taken over, so I haven’t finished any of the totally fabulous posts I have in draft. I know. You’re disappointed. Instead I thought I’d share some random and not-profound lessons from my week. Except it did sort of get a little bit profound towards the end. (Can something even be a little bit profound?)

1. Working, even half time, is tiring. Why is that? How come I was fine at the end of my leave even when I was busy-busy, but now having to go in to work makes me want to be asleep by 8:30?

2. I’m feeling old.

3. Or maybe I’m just trying to do too much. I’m going to be back at work full time soon so I’m not going to be able to keep doing all this.

4. (I’m not really happy about that.)

5. In an effort to acknowledge that I can’t do as much, I have had to say no to some stuff. Lesson learned.

6. The upside to this is that I’ve also learned I need to focus on the stuff that really matters to me and that I’m really excited about. There’s no point trying to write something I really couldn’t care less about. Life’s too short.

7. On a related note, I’ve got a new opportunity coming up that I’m really excited about. Stay tuned!

8. Speaking of excited, my TEDx talk is a week from tomorrow. So excited. Also? So freaking nervous.

9. I hope the audience doesn’t mind if I show up with blue hair. (If you want to help out with that Cristi’s still fundraising. Getting closer to goal! And if you want something fun for your dough, how about a tarot reading or a totally awesome necklace? Check it out! But don’t bid on the Mosaic Turquoise Agogo necklace – that’s mine.)

10. It’s been a good week, and the biggest thing I’ve learned is…

11. If you’re passionate about something and you put yourself out there, even when the odds would appear to be against you, the universe will deliver. This I know for sure.

***

We had 36 people link up with us this week for Be Enough Me 4 Cancer! I can’t tell you how jazzed I am about that. This is an awesome thing to be part of and I’m so glad people are participating, not just because it’s for a good cause but also because with every post one more person tackles her insecurities. The campaign runs for two more weeks, so if you have a post on the theme of being enough (in whatever way) please come and link up with us. If you don’t have a blog, you can share your story in the comments on Monday’s post on Just.Be.Enough. or on our Facebook page.

Filed Under: Better world, Happy things · Tagged With: Be enough me, gratitude, living life, spreading the love, The Universe

Let the Light In

August 23, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

I am so happy to welcome Leighann (aka Multitasking Mumma) to my blog today. I asked her if she would guest post for me, and she sent me this beautiful post. I wish I had written it myself.

***

Warm, welcoming sun sent dust dancing in its rays each morning and from my spot on the couch I yearned to dance with it.

But I couldn’t let the light in.

The pull of sadness, loneliness, and depression kept me in the shadows.

Sultry breezes called to me from the darkness, pulling at my arms and wrapping around my face.

But I couldn’t let the light in.

I was trapped inside the darkness, struggling to find the light I could see, the warmth I could feel, the freedom I remembered.

But I couldn’t let the light in.

I was weak; exhaustion and the fear of admitting failure held me hostage.

I ached to let the light in.

If I reached out my arm and allowed the kindness, love, and understanding from friends and family wash over me what might happen?

If I admitted that I needed help, that I couldn’t do this alone, that I am not perfect, then what?

If I opened my arms and let the light in, accepting my struggle, my challenges, and my climb would it get harder?

Yes.

But it will get better.

If you let the light in.

***
Thank you so much, Leighann. You are one of the bright lights in my life. xo

Filed Under: Guest posts · Tagged With: community, depression, hope, spreading the love, we're not alone

Blue Hair & Other Things: Life List Update

August 22, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

My life list has been on my mind a lot lately. And, weirdly, not crossing my mind at all at other times when it would be logical for it to do so.

Conferences and Flash Mobs

I wrote that list in January, the same month I started blogging. I realized the potential here after very quickly meeting some totally inspiring women. So I put “attend a bloggers’ conference for strong women” on the list (#4). I figured it would be a while before I actually did it, but funny things happen when you put something on your life list. BlogHer was always there, in the back of my mind. I’d like to go one year, I thought. And that became “I’d like to go this year,” which then evolved into “I think I have to go. I’m going to go.” So I did.

It was awesome.

Clockwise: @canbeafunnygirl, @galitbreen, @mamatrack, me, @mytimeasmom, @madwomandiary

(Yes, that’s a glow stick on my head.) (Yes, I stole the picture from Lizz.)

With my beautiful friend Cristi (@MotherUnadorned)

BlogHer also led to the addition of #57 on my list: participate in a flash mob. Here’s why:

Ooh, still gives me goosebumps. I want to do that one day.

Short hair

In the second photo above you can also see my new short hair, the result of #14 on my life list. Cutting my hair really short is something I’ve wanted to do for years but was always too chicken. Then a few weeks ago I went to get my hair cut and as I sat in the chair discussing options, I knew it was time. She took a chunk of my hair, cut several inches off the back, and inside I did a little happy dance. I love it! Should have done this years ago.

Blue hair

Speaking of hair, #54 on my list is to get a colourful streak put in my hair. This is just a whimsical wish and I almost did it while I was on leave from work, figuring I’d likely never do it at another time. Then last week my friend Cristi (from the photo above) committed to dyeing her hair blue if she raises an additional $1000 for suicide prevention by Sept. 9 (for a total of $1,500). See?

When she said if she doesn’t make it to her goal she’ll do blue streaks instead, I figured, hey, I can get on board with that. I wasn’t even thinking of my life list, just that it would be fun and in support of a good cause. Then Lizz got in on the conversation and she agreed to some blue as well. It was after that discussion that I remembered my life list, so this is perfect – blue streaks + fundraiser = checking off an item on my life list and having a good reason for it.

All together, Cristi has four of us on board now – Tara is going for streaks too, and Brian Perry, a singer/songwriter from New Orleans, is going full blue (but he doesn’t have a lot of hair…). Anyone else want in? If you’re not up for blue hair (or even if you are) I’d love it if you’d donate to Cristi. You can do that on her American Society for Suicide Prevention fundraising page or through PayPal on her site. Every dollar helps!

Other Things

I’ve been making progress on a few other items from my list:

#5: Speak at a blog conference. I haven’t done it yet, but in case you missed it, I got asked to speak at a Bloggy Boot Camp in 2012! I’m really looking forward to that. SITS Girls have also opened up pre-sale registration so you can guarantee your spot. (Not sure which location I’ll be at – I get to choose, but it will probably depend on timing. Any input? Out of the four choices I’ve only been to Vegas.)

#6: Attend a TED talk. This is similar but different, and I’m possibly even more excited about this one. I’ve been invited to speak at TEDx MileZero! SO excited. (Did I mention I’m excited?) Better get my presentation done. (I just got informed of my selection last week, so time is short. Very short, as you can see from the countdown clock on the site, which, as of today, reads 18 DAYS until the event. Eep!)

#55: Give blood 5 more times. This is a relatively easy one, if you discount my fear of needles. I donated on July 5th – my 3rd time – and the experiences are getting progressively better each time. The first time I donated one of the nurses evidently thought I looked a little pale and started pouring juice down my throat, which kind of freaked me out because, you know, I had a big needle in my arm. Even with that experience I’m much less nervous now. My sole remaining complaint is that the only spot that seems to work for giving blood – whether donating or having a blood test – is inside my left elbow. And each time I do it I get a big bruise and a permanent hole in my arm. Pretty soon they’re not going to let me donate because I’m going to look like a heroin addict.

#58 & #59 – I have also added two more items to my list. Get a tattoo to commemorate beating PPD (WOOT!) and help someone else with their life list (inspired by the story behind this).

And that’s it. Life is good.

Filed Under: Better world, Happy things · Tagged With: firsts, Life list, living life, spreading the love

Tele-porters and Virtual Hugs

August 20, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

I woke up on Friday to a barrage of tweets for one of my fellow #PPDChat mamas and immediately knew something had happened. Something good.

Our dear friend Pam reached out earlier this week on Twitter and Band Back Together for help. I’ll admit – the depth of her despair freaked me out. I spent a whole lot of time tweeting, sending DMs, and replying to her post. I just needed to do something. Anything. And it felt like it wasn’t enough.

Pam isn’t the only one I’ve desperately wanted to help. If I had any aptitude for inventions I would invent a tele-porter so I could go and see these beautiful mamas when they need a hug. I can’t fix these problems for them – each of us has to work at that ourselves. But a big part of being able to do that is having support. And that is something I can provide, even if that hug is just virtual.

So that’s what I did for Pam – sent hugs and love and support. And then I stalked her Twitter stream, because when someone’s in crisis it’s hard not to do that. I also had the #PPDChat stream open in Tweetdeck and it was constantly scrolling with new tweets, almost all of them directed at Pam. It was like watching a wave of love roll up the screen.

I’ve written about #PPDChat before. It’s an amazing and beautiful thing, and it saved me on a few occasions over the last few months when I needed help RIGHT NOW. It’s so powerful I don’t even know how to put it into words. We have a private Facebook group, which is a great place to share some of the stuff we don’t want in our Twitter streams. But often when one of us needs someone we go to Twitter because we know, without a doubt, that there’s always someone there. We can call on that army, even in the middle of the night, and someone – another mama who can’t sleep or someone in another time zone – will answer. It has never failed me.

It didn’t fail Pam, either. She got that love and it got her through.

So Friday morning, when I saw the #PPDChat stream fill up again with tweets for her, I smiled. She did what she needed to do – she’s going for help, and we’re all going with her.

I don’t have a tele-porter, so I couldn’t get to Pam to give her a hug before she walked through the hospital doors. But the events of this week made me realize that I don’t need to panic about not having some weird device to get me there. (It would probably splinch me anyway.)

We are enough.

Our love is enough.

Our words – our virtual hugs – are enough to save a life.

The Be Enough Me link-up is especially powerful right now – for one month, starting Aug. 22, Bellflower Books is sponsoring us to provide memory books for women fighting breast cancer. Details here – please write about your Be Enough Me feeling and come and link up!