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On Mother’s Day

May 13, 2012 by Farewell Stranger ·

I had a small person in bed with me early this morning. (Note to self: never post on Facebook about how well your child is sleeping.) I enjoyed the cuddles though, and figured that was a nice way to start Mother’s Day.

When he woke up for good, he jumped out of bed and ran downstairs. I could hear the pantry door opening and closing, and knew he was going to get the surprise he had made for me at preschool. (Except it wasn’t a surprise because he had told me what it was.) He came back up and promptly started to open my gift. It was a small box he had decorated, with a picture of him and a poem on the lid, and it was filled with Hershey’s kisses. It was very sweet, and I will keep that box as one of my treasures, but it was the sheer joy and pride with which he presented this gift that I will always remember. That feeling is what being a mother is all about.

***

In celebration of Mother’s Day, I’d like to point you to two beautiful things.

There’s a Mother’s Day Rally today on Postpartum Progress. Every hour on the hour you’ll find a letter from an amazing writer to new moms. The stories come from those who have suffered – and survived – a postpartum illness, and I have no doubt you’ll be inspired (whether you’re a PPD survivor or not). My letter will be posted at 7 p.m. ET, and I’m honoured to be part of this group on this special day.

Another wonderful place, not just today but every day, is Mamas’ Comfort Camp. This is a Facebook group started by my beautiful friend Yael from Postpartum Depression to Joy. I’ll let her describe what it’s about:

This group is a refueling station, where mamas from all over the world come together to vent, stomp, laugh, cheer, high-five, and, more than anything, share deeply, and support each other in a completely safe space.

It’s open to anyone, and it’s not just about PPD. It truly is a space where you can do all that. Read Yael’s post about the group for more and to find out how to join. I’d love to see you there.

And finally, I leave you with this, which I know to be true. Happy Mother’s Day.

Filed Under: Happy things, Motherhood, Postpartum depression · Tagged With: community, spreading the love, we're not alone

The Power of Truth

April 26, 2012 by Farewell Stranger ·

It’s been five days since the antenatal depression light clicked on. Five sleeps. Five sunrise-sunsets. Five turns of the Earth. And everything actually feels okay in my world.

No matter what the situation, I always feel better once I recognize it. An anxiety attack is less end-of-the-world when I realize it’s a momentary and not entirely logical reaction to something (even if I don’t know what that something is). The stones at what looks like the fast-approaching bottom fall away to reveal solid ground beneath me. And I stop feeling like I don’t know what I’m going to do next.

I don’t know if it was the recognizing of it or the saying of it or the writing of it. But that truth took away some of the power this illness has and gave it back to me.

There’s always power in truth. Whether you admit it to yourself or the whole world, saying it helps dissipate the darkness. I know this, and yet I have to learn the lesson every time.

I’m not saying everything is better or that this won’t still be a battle at times, but I am feeling better. And, for now at least, I’m sleeping in my bed instead of hiding in it.

Thank you for all the comments and words of love – both here and elsewhere.

Image credit: auro on Flickr

Filed Under: Happy things, Pregnancy · Tagged With: antenatal depression, anxiety, community, gratitude, perspective, we're not alone

Helping yourself feel better

April 11, 2012 by Farewell Stranger ·

I’ve got a post up at Postpartum Progress that goes back to my time with the horrible, awful psychiatrist. (Remember her?)

She told me at one point to make to-do lists for myself that covered basic things, like eating and showering. At the time, I wanted to smack her.

I did come to realize that, while we’re struggling with something like postpartum depression, there is value in forcing ourselves to look at whether what we’re doing is helping us or keeping us stagnant. But I do (of course) have some suggestions for how she might have worded it differently.

Come and visit me over there.

Comments here closed.

Filed Under: at Postpartum Progress, Postpartum depression · Tagged With: perspective, we're not alone

Scared to Feel Good After PPD

March 5, 2012 by Farewell Stranger ·

Just a quick update to let you know that I’ve got a new post up at Postpartum Progress – Scared to Feel Good After Postpartum Depression. It’s based on a conversation I’ve had with a lot of PPD moms, so if you’ve ever felt that way please come over and have a read.

Comments here closed.

Filed Under: at Postpartum Progress, Postpartum depression · Tagged With: depression, we're not alone

Gratitude, Comment Love and Something Entirely Unrelated

January 3, 2012 by Farewell Stranger ·

Confession: The revision history on my last post is RIDICULOUS. I edited it over and over and just could not get it right.

It actually started off as my blogging anniversary post, and it was directed at those of you who come here and read and offer support. I wanted to tell you how much that has meant to me over the last year. How much it means to me now.

Writing about something as personal as depression—especially in the moment, as so many of my posts were—feels incredibly vulnerable. I wrote about those things because I needed to have them live somewhere other than inside my own head, but there was also a part of me that wanted to hear I wasn’t alone. And wow, am I ever NOT ALONE.

Image credit: Joffley on Flickr

Over the last year I have come to realize just how many people struggle with depression and anxiety, and I hate that there are just SO many. But I love that there is so much support out there too, and that it’s becoming more and more okay to admit to these things.

So in the end, after realizing that it simply wasn’t working, I wrote something more simple for that anniversary post and said what I really wanted to say, which is: Thank you for loving me. But I didn’t give up on the rabbit.

I played around with that post some more and eventually decided it was actually about something different. And then it got to a point where I thought it was good enough, so I published it.

And then you all took over.

I’ve had so many incredible comments and messages and re-tweets on that post. It seems I struck a nerve. I keep trying to respond to those comments, and I will, but right now I don’t really know what to say. It’s all making me feel a bit weepy.

So again: Thank you.

On a related note, if you want another glimpse into why it’s so important for us to write about depression and have it be acceptable, go and read the latest post by The Bloggess. Jenny, if you don’t know her already, is absolutely, stunningly hilarious. But she also deals with mental illness. She writes about that pretty openly, but this post really blows the doors off. Go, read, and give her some love.

And now sometimes entirely unrelated…

I wasn’t actually planning to post today because I signed up for NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) for January, where the goal is to write a post a day for the whole month. And after I signed up I decided that was crazy, so I intended to cheat (sort of) and just direct you to my Just.Be.Enough. post today. But then you were all so nice and I kind of got sidetracked writing this.

Anyway… I did write a post for Just.Be.Enough. today and it’s about Spanx. See? Entirely unrelated.

I’m going to close comments on this one, so please either visit me at Just.Be.Enough. or go and give Jenny some comment love. (She’s already got over 1,000 comments, but what’s a movement if not something that really takes off?)