we're not alone Archives - Page 8 of 12 -

Tele-porters and Virtual Hugs

August 20, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

I woke up on Friday to a barrage of tweets for one of my fellow #PPDChat mamas and immediately knew something had happened. Something good.

Our dear friend Pam reached out earlier this week on Twitter and Band Back Together for help. I’ll admit – the depth of her despair freaked me out. I spent a whole lot of time tweeting, sending DMs, and replying to her post. I just needed to do something. Anything. And it felt like it wasn’t enough.

Pam isn’t the only one I’ve desperately wanted to help. If I had any aptitude for inventions I would invent a tele-porter so I could go and see these beautiful mamas when they need a hug. I can’t fix these problems for them – each of us has to work at that ourselves. But a big part of being able to do that is having support. And that is something I can provide, even if that hug is just virtual.

So that’s what I did for Pam – sent hugs and love and support. And then I stalked her Twitter stream, because when someone’s in crisis it’s hard not to do that. I also had the #PPDChat stream open in Tweetdeck and it was constantly scrolling with new tweets, almost all of them directed at Pam. It was like watching a wave of love roll up the screen.

I’ve written about #PPDChat before. It’s an amazing and beautiful thing, and it saved me on a few occasions over the last few months when I needed help RIGHT NOW. It’s so powerful I don’t even know how to put it into words. We have a private Facebook group, which is a great place to share some of the stuff we don’t want in our Twitter streams. But often when one of us needs someone we go to Twitter because we know, without a doubt, that there’s always someone there. We can call on that army, even in the middle of the night, and someone – another mama who can’t sleep or someone in another time zone – will answer. It has never failed me.

It didn’t fail Pam, either. She got that love and it got her through.

So Friday morning, when I saw the #PPDChat stream fill up again with tweets for her, I smiled. She did what she needed to do – she’s going for help, and we’re all going with her.

I don’t have a tele-porter, so I couldn’t get to Pam to give her a hug before she walked through the hospital doors. But the events of this week made me realize that I don’t need to panic about not having some weird device to get me there. (It would probably splinch me anyway.)

We are enough.

Our love is enough.

Our words – our virtual hugs – are enough to save a life.

The Be Enough Me link-up is especially powerful right now – for one month, starting Aug. 22, Bellflower Books is sponsoring us to provide memory books for women fighting breast cancer. Details here – please write about your Be Enough Me feeling and come and link up!

Filed Under: Happy things · Tagged With: Be enough me, call for back-up, community, depression, gratitude, hope, spreading the love, we're not alone

For Anyone Who’s Ever Lost Something

August 14, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

But especially for my sister-friend, CH.

Filed Under: Better world · Tagged With: hope, love, spreading the love, we're not alone

Hello, Inspiration – You Will Survive

July 31, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

I’ve been looking back at some of my posts recently and thinking, “Did I really write all that personal stuff for the whole world to see?”

Yes, I did.

I’ll admit some of my older posts make me cringe. There’s something so vulnerable about them, and that’s not a feeling I’m especially comfortable with. But I was aware of that in the moment and each and every time I hit ‘publish’ knowing I was putting my rawness out there. And I haven’t taken down a single post.

My experience is what it is and those were my feelings at the time. Writing about it here is how I chose to express it, and as time went on I continued for a reason beyond using it as my own cheap therapy.

On an increasingly frequent basis I’ve had people contact me – usually by email or Twitter DM – to share their own experiences. Some of them ask for help, in which case I refer them to the PPD resources I know and trust. Some of them need someone to listen. And others just want to say thank you.

That was particularly the case after I posted about my experience with postpartum rage. In the short time since, I’ve had so many people contact me to say, “me too.”

Late last week I got an email from someone who was dealing with something similar who said, “…just had to stop by and say thank you for giving me one of those ‘oh thank god, I can survive this’ moments, and lending me some faith that maybe I can repair what’s been sent asunder.”

The thing I hate about emails like that is that I just want to hug each person (yep, I’m a hugger) and tell her it will be okay. Because it will.

But all I can do is offer virtual hugs and keep talking about my experience.

So that’s what I’m doing.

You will survive.

Filed Under: Hello, Inspiration · Tagged With: blogging, community, gratitude, hope, spreading the love, we're not alone

The T-shirt Winner Is…

July 28, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

The lucky winner of the Band Back Together t-shirt, chosen by random.org, is comment #23 from Roxanne!

Roxanne gets her choice of t-shirt to show that she’s With The Band.

If you haven’t visited Band Back Together lately, we’ve got a super easy way for you to support those sharing their stories. You don’t have to comment – just fling some glitter at them. So go on – click. Give out some glitter and get some good karma in return.

And thanks to all those who entered and retweeted and all that good stuff. The Band appreciates your support.

Filed Under: Better world · Tagged With: community, spreading the love, we're not alone

Hello, Inspiration: From My Heart

July 24, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

Inspiration, at times, is something simple but powerful.

This week I wrote a post in two parts. I used to think I would never share that story. I just couldn’t see how I could admit to that stuff.

As time went on, though, I knew I needed to write about it.

After conversations last week, I knew I needed to do write about it now so other people struggling with the same things could read it and know it’s okay. That it will be okay.

I wrote the whole thing and had a good cry. I went to bed, got up and revised and edited. I got my husband to read it to make sure he was okay with it and I asked him the question I’d been scared to ask for months.

I sat in front of my computer. I looked at my husband, who knew I could do it. So I held my breath and hit ‘publish’.

I held my breath for a long time.

I had no idea what kind of a response I’d get. I was sure some would be supportive (especially since I’d called on my #PPDChat army for back-up) but I was waiting for the haters.

They didn’t come.

I got nothing but amazing support. I got emails. I got DMs on Twitter. I got messages on Facebook.

I was totally overwhelmed. I can’t even begin to express how grateful I am for the support.

I also got messages from women who aren’t ready – who may never be ready – to admit publicly that this is an issue for them too but who wanted to reach out to someone who understands.

Knowing that sharing the hard parts of my story helps other people is inspiring. It’s why I write.

Odds are I will never be able to reach every mom who struggles with this and thinks she’s alone. But it doesn’t matter.

I’m inspired to try.