Robin | Farewell Stranger

Time Travel Smiles

May 19, 2013 by Farewell Stranger ·

A simple post today, inspired by Sarah at The Sunday Spill and her post Because Everything Feels Lighter at Present.

We stayed here —the Banff Springs Hotel—last night. It’s incredible.

My mom worked in the dining room here in the 60s. The hotel is celebrating its 125th anniversary and she went up for an alumni weekend, except—crazy lady that she is—she didn’t stay the second night and gave it to us instead. AND she took Connor home with her; we kept Ethan and had a lovely night to ourselves.

Banff is where we went for the day on last weekend’s ill-fated Mother’s Day and, at the time, we had no idea we’d be back again so soon, and in such a beautiful setting. We met my mom in the afternoon after her visits and tours etc., and had a chance to wander around and go for dinner. She told us stories about working at the hotel, some of which I knew and some I didn’t. She talked about how she ended up there and what she did. She told us who her friends were and why that time in her life mattered.

This morning we had breakfast in a beautifully furnished lounge with windows that look out over the mountains, which we had to ourselves because apparently no one else had discovered that you can sit in there. Rich mentioned that he had wandered through the gallery that showcases the history of the hotel and saw a 1920s-era picture of people sitting on the ledge right outside the window we were sitting by. The view, apparently, looked almost exactly the same. I found myself wishing someone had perfected time travel so we could go back and surreptitiously stand there as they were having their picture taken. Wouldn’t you love to have the ability to take everything you know now and go back in time to appreciate a place as it was years and years ago? I would spend a lot of my time popping invisibly into scenes and pondering what life would have been like in the same places but at very different times.

And so it was, as you can imagine, a lovely day. An unexpected, quiet night at a nice hotel is a beautiful thing, but I’m especially grateful that I got to see my mom and hear her stories in that environment. It made me smile. It’s as close as I’ll ever get to travelling back in time to be there with her when she was young.

Filed Under: Happy things · Tagged With: family, favourite activities, gratitude, living life, weekends

Just Say the Word

May 16, 2013 by Farewell Stranger ·

Everyone needs help once in a while.

My kids have been sick and my husband’s away and a couple of meals would really help.

But asking for help is hard.

Some days are really long and I could use a play date so my kids and I aren’t in each others’ faces all the time.

I’m lucky to be part of a group of women where this isn’t a problem.

My dad needs help and I can’t get there for a few days. Can someone help him?

Need help? Ask for help. Several will respond.

I just had surgery and I need someone to drive my oldest to school tomorrow.

Notice someone struggling? Nominate her for help. Spread the love.

Some baking would be lovely.

It doesn’t have to be big things. Sometimes the little things are what we need most.

Ask for help. Offer help.

We all need help sometimes.

I feel incredibly lucky to have found a group of friends here from whom I can ask for help when needed and offer help when asked. It really is a blessing and I wish that for everyone.

Filed Under: Happy things · Tagged With: call for back-up, community, gratitude, spreading the love

Bring on the Elephants

May 14, 2013 by Farewell Stranger ·

Sometimes when I think about what I want for my kids I get caught up in the idea of a typical (stereotypical?) childhood. You know, like riding bikes all over the neighbourhood and…whatever else it is that kids are “supposed” to do. (Clearly this is not a well-thought-out angst.) In any case, I feel like we put one important piece in place on the weekend.

We went to the circus!

It’s possible that Rich and I were as excited about this as Connor, but he was totally excited. He was dying to see the elephants. As in, kept asking when we were going to see them. Ah, to have no patience whatsoever. But, boy, did we get to see the elephants.

We got VIP passes, which got us a behind-the-scenes tour of what goes on in and around the big top before the show starts. Connor—who normally won’t sit still for anyone—loved the ringmaster when we got to hear him talk about the circus. (And he wasn’t even in full costume at that point.) He told everyone we saw the next day that he got to meet the ringmaster. Maybe if I put on a sparkly coat Connor would listen to me better…

Anyway, then (I feel like we need a drum roll here) we got to visit the elephants.

They were having a bath when we first got there.

And then… Oh my, and then we got to feed them.

Well, Ethan didn’t. His aim with a banana isn’t very good. But Connor loved tossing a banana over the fence and watching the elephant pick it up.

Too bad the little bugger wouldn’t let me take his picture. But—ha ha—too bad the little bugger didn’t see the photographer there.

Love the joy on his face. Magic childhood moment, check.

But it got even better inside when he got to have a ride on an elephant. The kid was in heaven. (As was his dad, I think.)

The show itself was really good. I’m always in awe of what these performers can do.

See? Awe. (And kind of enjoying watching with my biggest boy on my lap.)

The acrobats were amazing. But man, oh man. Better them than me.

Especially this guy. The grand finale was the Wheel of Destiny, and I was sure this guy was destined to end up taking a tumble. But nope. He walked around on that big ol’ spinning wheel and made the rest of us hold our collective breath. Grand finale indeed.

The elephants were awesome. The acrobats were incredible. But what I thought was especially cool is that this circus tour is the Zerbini family’s 250th anniversary. Can you imagine? A family business that goes back that far… Their stories at Thanksgiving must be something else.

I have a feeling we’ll be talking about this one at our dinner table for a while too.

Disclaimer: I was gifted VIP passes to the Royal Canadian Circus for my family, but our love for the circus (and the beloved elephants) is entirely our own.

The Royal Canadian Circus is in Calgary for a few more performances May 16-20. You can buy tickets through their Facebook page, and the code “FUN” will get you 2-for-1 general admission tickets.

Professional photos courtesy Kevin Yee, KISSPHOTO INC.

Filed Under: Happy things · Tagged With: family, favourite activities, weekends

You Can’t Always Get What You Want

May 12, 2013 by Farewell Stranger ·

Disappointment is a shitty feeling. It means you wanted something and didn’t get it, that you let yourself hope and that hope wasn’t fulfilled, that you opened yourself up to possibility and got shut down.

I am disappointed today and it feels petty and first-world-problem-ish.

It started with gratitude for a chance to sleep in and a small boy who put his heart (and hands) on paper. My boys said, “This day is for you” and I felt special and loved. All I had was one simple wish: to have a nice day with my family.

I did my part. I played along when the small boy wanted to lead me downstairs with my eyes closed. I let him make my breakfast even though it took longer and I was afraid he was going to pour milk all over the floor. I listened and responded and hugged and did all the things good mothers are supposed to do. But for the majority of the day he was—to be frank—quite beastly, and I stopped being able to do those things.

Our outing got rained on, which made it not worth what we had paid for it. We had dinner in a place that should have been lovely but was instead simply a spot to get some food in our tummies, taking bites in between admonishments to hold the cup with hands not teeth and to keep feet off the table, before getting back in the car and driving home well after bedtime.

Maybe the small boy was beastly because he was bored or excited or simply because he’s four. There is no way to force him to stop doing the things we ask him not to do, and we can’t duct tape him to the roof of the car.

In any case, I didn’t get my simple wish, and that’s disappointing.

And then there are two pieces I was hoping would be published and (so far) have not been. And a dear friend was left out of something and my heart hurts for her, especially because she gives so much to others.

I want to invite possibility and joy and wonder. I appreciate that beauty when it’s gifted to me, and I’ve had a lot of perfect days lately with sun, friends, food and family. Today just wasn’t one of those days.

But there are bigger problems in the world. I got what was important today – time and love and acknowledgement.

You can’t always get what you want, especially when you have a four-year-old. But I’m trying to remember that I’ve got what I need.

Filed Under: Hard things · Tagged With: admissions, expectations

Five Months to Firm

May 9, 2013 by Farewell Stranger ·

I firmly believe people won’t quit something or start something or stick to something (like quitting a bad habit or starting a new one) if they’re not ready to do it. And that’s about the only thing I’ve got right now that’s firm.

on Connor’s first birthday

The other day I saw a picture of myself with Connor on his first birthday, when I was about 30 pounds lighter than I am right now. And a day or so later I looked in the mirror and sucked in my tummy and thought, “If I really suck it in it’s not too bad.” And then we went away for a few days and I got some perspective and decided that being in a state of not-too-bad-but-only-when-my-tummy-is-sucked-in is not okay.

I was happy with my body before Connor was born. I had a small crisis when he was about three months old and I had to buy some in-between clothes and I almost cried because I thought I was going to feel flabby forever. But thanks to a baby who needed a lot of bouncing and a very active maternity leave I did lose the weight and a few extra pounds to boot. But when I started antidepressants some of that flab came back and hasn’t left.

I didn’t actually get weighed regularly when I was pregnant with Ethan, but my best guess based on what I think I weighed before is that I gained about eight pounds. And I’m now about two pounds below what I weighed when he was born.

Are you feeling disheartened yet? Because I am.

I’m just sick of it. I’m sick of stuffing my face with crap because I’m bored or tired or just plain old in the habit of eating badly. I don’t want to have to hang my jeans to dry so I don’t have to hold my breath for the first couple of hours of wearing them after they come out of the dryer. And I didn’t want to have to buy shorts in a size larger than what I’ve been wearing recently, but that’s what I had to do. It doesn’t matter that they’re pink and summery and we finally have weather that requires shorts. I just don’t want to see that extra flab in the mirror anymore. And now I’m finally ready to do something about it.

So I solemnly swear that I quit. For the next month I’m going to cut out all the stuff I’ve been eating because I think it will make me feel better. No Coke, no chocolate, no ice cream. Bye bye Blizzards. Farewell fries. I’m going to keep up with the exercise I’ve been doing and try to add more, but my eating habits really need to go back to where they were.

I’ve got five months until Ethan turns one. I may not get back to where I was on my first child’s first birthday, but I’d like to at least feel better about myself when I see the pictures.

PS I’d like to offer a shout-out to Miranda from Not Super… Just Mom whose State of the Weight Wednesday series has contributed to my resolve.

Filed Under: Hello, Inspiration · Tagged With: perspective, telling the truth