Happy things Archives - Page 32 of 35 -

Choices

June 2, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

It’s amazing what happens when we open ourselves up to new things. I didn’t know what would happen when I had a baby. When it didn’t go as expected I got stuck. And I got sick, which made it hard for me to realize there were other ways to look at the situation.

When I started blogging, I just wanted to write. I wanted to get the PPD swirl out of my head. I didn’t know that I was making a choice to share this with so many people because I didn’t know all of you were out there.

I have been afraid of things. I have had dreams and have been too scared to do anything about them. Some of my dreams are small. Some are big. Some are desires I can’t explain but that have lived in me always.

There are a lot of options before me now that relate to those dreams. I don’t mean to be cryptic, but I don’t have enough information yet to know where all this is going. I’m just trying to have faith that it’s going where it’s meant to.

At first I thought some of these things would require decisions.

But maybe “decisions” isn’t the right word. Maybe the word is “choices.”

I know what I can do, and as a result I know what I could do.

But it’s not about that. It’s about knowing – and showing – who I truly am, and that opens up a world of choices.

I love these books, and I know this quote. I saw this on a friend’s board on Pinterest today and got a little teary, because I know exactly what he means.

Filed Under: Happy things · Tagged With: living life, The Universe

Hello Inspiration – Our True Selves

May 29, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

I’ve been inspired this week by a bunch of different things that have contributed to where I am now.

Since I started blogging, I have discovered a new community. These are people I’ve never met who have provided so much support to me (and to each other) during the most difficult time in my life.

Recently some of those people have started vlogging. I LOVE this. I love seeing their faces. I love hearing their voices. I feel more like I actually have met them.

There are a lot of people I could include here, but I’m going to share three with you – one funny, one sweet & friendly, and one incredibly brave.

Leighann and I started blogging around the same time, and if I walked past her in the street I would hug her. I love her posts and her tweets, but seeing her on camera made me really feel like I know who she is. Here is her first (quite funny) vlog.

Alison is not one of my PPD mamas, but she reads and comments and shows so much support. I find this incredible for someone who hasn’t experienced it – it’s like she gets it, which is quite amazing. I loved her vlog – she is beautifully sweet. Plus I really like her accent.

And then Kim. She used her first vlog to participate in Miranda’s rally for mental health and telling her story in this way is really powerful. Loved that she showed her true self in this way for this cause.

Which brings me to Miranda’s rally, which must have taken a lot of energy to organize and shows a dedication that is such a hallmark of who Miranda is. The American Psychological Association had Mental Health Day. Miranda had mental health days. Maybe even weeks. She gave people a place to tell their stories and as a whole that’s a really powerful thing.

And speaking of sharing her stories, Amanda did that this week. When she let me know she had been inspired to share her story about PPD, I was so glad. And so proud. Proud of her, because I know how scary that can be to do.

I’ve been thinking of all these things as I pondered what to what about for this week’s inspiration post. And then last night I sat down to watch the (PVR’d) final episode of Oprah. I haven’t been a regular Oprah watcher for a while, but I wanted to watch her last episode. So much of what she said in her farewell is exactly what I’ve been working on articulating here in a post that’s been in draft for weeks. That will come in time, but in the meantime Oprah said something that describes exactly why these things are inspirational to me:

“In every way in every day you are showing people exactly who you are. You’re letting your life speak for you.”

All the above are examples of this. And that’s all I’m trying to do too. My life has been speaking to me for a while, and only occasionally have I been able to hear it. But by allowing myself to be who I am, and by sharing that with others, I have removed some things that have prevented me from hearing those messages.

I hear them now. And for the first time in a long time, I’ve had a week where I understand what people meant when they said, “I wish you peace” because I’ve found it. It wasn’t in my environment, it wasn’t in my medication, it was in me. And I have invited it to stay.

I liked this photo, especially when I realized it was titled "Brave New World"

Filed Under: Happy things, Hello, Inspiration · Tagged With: community, gratitude, living life

Kept

May 27, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

I’m linking up again today with Melissa from Making Things Up for Six Word Fridays. The word for this week was perfect for so many reasons. We emptied out Connor’s room so it’s really and truly a big boy room – all the baby stuff is gone from the closet, all the too-small clothes have been put away. Yes, we’re keeping them, just in case. But he was really concerned they were going to disappear.

Don’t worry, honey. They will be kept.

So that’s what I was going to write about. But today’s activities presented another topic, and I just couldn’t resist.

***

She kept them for 25 years
Or it might have been 30
Such a long time, a lifetime
So far anyway (I’m still alive)

I knew she kept our things
But I didn’t know about these
They come in cases and boxes
And are just as I remembered

I’ve been flooded, overwhelmed with memories
First it was all our books
Toby Zebra and the Lost Zoo
I had forgotten all about it

Then toys – different bits and pieces
All evoking a time, a place
Long forgotten, remembered in an instant
Suddenly I am four, six, eight

An influx of memories this week
Little People and their many accessories
Looking at them, they seem old
But to him they are new

Collections mentioned as they’re brought out
Adult siblings claim ownership, teasing (mostly)
But it’s another’s turn to play
Making new memories of his own

Filed Under: Happy things · Tagged With: family, moments

I’ve Got the Scattered Part Right

May 23, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

I hate the sound the timer makes. Ticking relentlessly to the end. Loudly so as to prevent clear thinking.

I glance at it and see my time is almost up.

Come on, think. There have to be words for these categories.

Nothing? Fine. Think of words that start with ‘t’. Truck… Toad… Toilet… Tampon…

Oh for goodness’ sake. This isn’t working. Those don’t fit any of the categories. Okay, forget choosing words. Focus on the categories.

“Excuses for being late”

‘Threw up!’ There, that’ll work.

“Household chores”

Uh, towel washing? No, that sounds dumb. Okay, um…toilet scrubbing! Hey, ‘toilet’ fit after all!

“Things that bother you”

Um… Uh… Oh for crying out loud! Everything bothers me. Surely one of them starts with a T. Wait! Tina Turner! Double score! Except she doesn’t bother me, so does that count? Whatever. I can lie.

The timer keeps ticking.

“Foreign cities.”

My brain goes blank. I visualize a world map, but all I can picture is each country a different colour.

Come on, think of a city! Oh! Turkmenistan. That can’t be spelled right – it looks too simple. I think it has a ‘j’ in it. Turkmejnistan. No, that doesn’t look right either. Good lord! Stop wasting time. They won’t know how it’s spelled either.

“Things in the bedroom.”

Hee hee.

I giggle, but I’ve got nothing.

“Vegetables.”

That’s got brain fart written all over it so I skip it.

“Lunch food.”

Easy peasy! Tur…

CLICK!

Stupid timer.

***

My husband (the sporadic blogger) is an artist, and he rocks word games. I’m a word nerd, and I really, really don’t.

I don’t play Scrabble because I just stare at the tiles looking for words to jump out at me, then get lazy and put down words like “ant” that give me about 2 points.

Word jumbles? Can’t do ’em.

But I will play Scattergories. The tradition started years ago with a friend. She lives in another city, and when my husband and I visited we’d haul out the red box.

Our friend is pretty good. She comes up with good words, something for most categories, and often scores multiple points for nailing alliteration.

My husband has never, in my recollection, missed a category. He always has a word for whatever letter we’re using. And he scores multiple points on something in every round.

As for me, my paper usually looks like I had to pee in the middle of the round and forgot to come back.

***

The timer has spoken so we compare notes.

“A song that starts with ‘t’.”

My answer: Uh, er, couldn’t think of a song.

My husband’s answer: Tiptoe Through the Tulips by Tiny Tim.

Are you freaking kidding me? We’re two categories into scoring and he has seven points already?!

He gloats. He’s good at that.

Our friend starts singing the song, which doesn’t help my humiliation.

We keep scoring. My husband gets multiple points on several of the categories.

He gloats a little more, so I laugh at him for not only knowing the tulip song but who sang it.

My friend starts singing it again, so I laugh at her for knowing the words AND the tune.

And then we roll the dice and play again.

Quick, someone give me something you’d find in your fridge that starts with ‘R’!

***

Disclaimer: looking at list 6 now, it’s freakishly easy. Apparently I don’t do well under pressure, but either way I suck at the alliteration points. And my husband better not get too used to winning, because with the vocabulary and sharp mind Connor already has his dad’s going to have to bring his A game if he wants to keep winning.

Prompt: Recall the games you played when you were young.

Filed Under: Happy things · Tagged With: family, favourite activities

Letting Go

May 17, 2011 by Farewell Stranger ·

As I write it’s 11 PM on Monday, May 16. Today has been a good day. A day where I can again see what I know to be true instead of seeing nothing because I’m overwhelmed by anxiety. I’ve had some time to think more clearly today about some things that have been lurking in my brain, but veiled and unclear.

Last year I came up with my seven-year plan – what I want to do over the next seven years to get me to something that has long been a dream of mine. Over the last few weeks that dream has vanished, or so I thought. It turns out my dream has changed.

This realization was hard. It tossed me upside down and turned me around and was one thing too much on top of all the other stuff that’s currently swirling around me. It made me question everything about myself and my identity, which was based largely on who I was in the environment that would allow this dream to be.

Some time in the last week I have started to see that new vision of my future more objectively, though as I type I notice an increase in adrenaline that tells me I’m not at ease with this yet. But I know it’s a process.

The other day I came across a quote. It was one I’d never heard before, though the sentiment was certainly not new, and I liked it. It embedded itself in me, somewhere comfortable where I could sit with it and see if I could allow it to be true.

Today I came across it again. Twice.

For at least two weeks, I’ve had a series of posts in draft that are meant to be grand, insightful, and inspiring descriptions of how I’ve found my purpose and why I think everyone should pay attention to signs. So far those drafts are mostly blank – just a source and an idea – with no way to express what the path it suggests for me is supposed to look like.

There are reasons I can’t solidify that path yet. Practical reasons, like money and family and mortgages. There are also emotional reasons for it, like the bigger battle I’m currently waging, but also the unanswered questions: How? And what if? And what if I don’t…?

But those questions aren’t going to answer themselves, and I’m starting to see the practical reasons less and less as obstacles. Sometimes we’re just meant to do something and while for me it’s not what I thought, I’m starting to understand a bit more what my something might be.

So, back to that quote. It’s time to do something about it.

I’m going to start taking little steps to see if all the things I’ve held on to for so long are things I can let go of to make space for the something that’s waiting for me.

I won’t do it all at once, but I’m going to start letting go.