Dear Had-Enough Girl

December 11, 2011 by ·

Last Wednesday was not a good day. In fact it was a bad day. A terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.*

By that point we had been in our new house for a week and a half. We had no furniture except the bed we’d bought when we got here and while hanging out in an empty house with no furniture sounds kind of fun, it’s only actually fun for about a day and a half.

The people who lived here before us had a cat. A big, hairy one. I like cats, but I’m horribly allergic to them so being in the vicinity of a cat (or the evidence of a cat) for a prolonged period makes me fairly cranky. And this cat left evidence. There was cat hair everywhere, which we attempted to resolve by vacuuming and steam cleaning the carpets. And washing the windows because there was cat hair stuck to them. But then we discovered that the washing machine and dryer here do a lovely job of pasting cat hair to our clothes, and that was really the last straw.

By last Wednesday I was beyond cranky. I was downright miserable, and making life downright miserable for the two boys and one dog who live with me.

I had been trying to stave off the rage by tromping through snow and chasing sunsets but on Wednesday it wasn’t working. I was sick of the cat hair. I was sick of not having enough cutlery and enough towels. I was sick of someone else’s washer and dryer and desperately wanted to get our new ones delivered already.

I’d had enough.

And then—as it is wont to do—the Universe intervened.

First, a bit of backstory: Several months ago I subscribed to Daily Truths from the Brave Girls Club. (They’re called “A little bird told me…” How perfect is that?) More frequently than I would have expected that daily truth hit on exactly the thing I was struggling with. But then for some reason I stopped getting them. I tried to resubscribe but no dice. With everything else going on I didn’t worry about it, especially since I caught some of them on Facebook.

Anyway, on Wednesday evening, as I was starting to wonder exactly how hard it would be to invent a fast forward button for the bits of life I really didn’t want to have to live through, I saw one of those daily truths on Facebook. I normally skip over those when I’m in a bad mood, but I clicked on that one.

Those who wish to sing always find a song.

Artist: Sally Rose

“Dear Had-Enough Girl,” it said, and I knew it was talking to me.

“First, just take a second and breathe, ok?…deep deep deeply breathe in and out. Close your eyes for a second and remember that it’s ok if you feel completely overwhelmed at the tasks that are ahead for you… It’s okay if you want to throw a fit some days and let someone else be in charge. 

So do it…throw a fit for a few minutes.”

I love unexpected messages that completely enable me.

And then kick me me in the pants.

“Now that you’ve got that out of your system…think for a minute about how you want the rest of the day…and tomorrow to go. How you really want to feel, what you really want to accomplish, where you really want to end up…and decide right this second that you are going to do ONE THING to take a step in that direction.”

All right, little bird. Message received. Time to take a deep breath and get my priorities straight.

Thursday was MUCH better.

 

*With thanks to Judith Viorst for such a perfect descriptor.

If  you like, you can read that daily truth in its entirety.

Do you have a source of daily inspiration? Does it ever hit the nail on the head?


Come and visit us at Just.Be.Enough. this week. We have a giveaway for a totally inspiring book!

Filed Under: Be enough me, Hard things, Hello, Inspiration · Tagged With: , , , , , ,

On the Road to Wisdom

November 27, 2011 by ·

Wisdom ceases to be wisdom when it becomes too proud to weep, too grave to laugh, and too selfish to seek other than itself.
~ Khalil Gibran

At the beginning of this year I did two things: I started this blog and I joined a One Little Word class. I thought I’d write here a bit and see where it went, and here I am almost a year later, fully immersed. I thought I’d dive right into the One Little Word class and do all the exercises, and almost a year later I haven’t done many of them but my word is fully immersed in my life.

I had a tough time choosing the word, and was skeptical about the common “the word will choose you” reassurance. Initially I thought I’d choose “improve” as my word because that’s what I wanted to do in many areas of my life. But thinking that was a good word was really a symptom of my problem, and luckily I came to my senses and realized that was too self-critically negative.

And then my word chose me.

I don’t remember how it happened. It just came to me one day, I think, and that was that. I didn’t know what it meant at the time, but I do now.

Seek.

verb, sought, seek·ing.

–verb (used with object)

1. to go in search or quest of: to seek the truth.

2. to try to find or discover by searching or questioning: to seek the solution to a problem.

3. to try to obtain: to seek fame.

4. to try or attempt (usually fol. by an infinitive): to seek to convince a person.

5. to go to: to seek a place to rest.

6. to ask for; request: to seek advice.

7. Archaic: to search or explore.

For too long I was too proud to weep (figuratively, anyway, or at least in public) and too grave to laugh. I lost sight of what was important.

Actually, I don’t think I knew what was important.

I do now. In part, at least. I was seeking something I didn’t know was lost, and now I’ve started to find my way back to it.

I was seeking myself.

This search (journey? quest?) has led me places I would not have anticipated a year ago, and now a new stage is beginning.

A new home.

A new place.

A new start.

I look forward to where seeking wisdom will take me, and what part of myself I will find on the way there.

Seek wisdom
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The Just.Be.Enough team is so thankful to have been partnering with Striiv on our Striiv 2 Be Enough month-long challenge. Now it is our turn to give back to one of you! Enter to win a chance to own your very own Striiv fitness device just by linking up an “I am striving for” post on Just.Be.Enough this week.

A winner will be chosen among the linked posts (remember that the linky closes on Wednesday 11/30 at 11:59 pm EST) using random.org on Thursday (12/1) morning. The winner will be notified by email and will have 24 hours to reply with a mailing address and telephone number or another winner will be selected.

To be entered:

  • Link an “I am Striving for” Be Enough Me post in the linky, AND
  • Comment on the JBE post to let us know that you would like to win your OWN Striiv.

—–

And don’t forget about our first EVER Twitter party!

We are so excited to host a “Striiv to Be Enough” event where we’ll be discussing getting moving and putting ourselves first as we strive to live healthy lives full of movement.

Plus, we’re offering amazing prizes that you will NOT want to miss! You must RSVP and be present during most of the event to be eligible to win prizes.

When: Tuesday, November 29th, 8-9 pm EST/5-6 pm PST
Where: On Twitter!
Follow: @JustBeEnough and hashtag #Striiv2BEnough

RSVP here

Filed Under: Be enough me, Hello, Inspiration · Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Searching for Life’s Purpose

November 23, 2011 by ·

You may have noticed (because I plaster it everywhere) that I’m sort of fond of my tagline. Live the life you’re meant to. I thought I knew what I wanted to do, but my experience in the last few years has made me think differently about what I think I’m meant to do.

I think we’re all meant to do something. That doesn’t mean it has to be huge or Earth-shattering, but I think there is something for each of us that has meaning and that contributes something. I also think sometimes it’s the hard things that make us see what that something is (though that doesn’t necessarily have to be the case).

A friend of mine has a blog called Quest for Purpose, where she’s on a journey to explore what she’s meant to be doing with her life. I find the things she posts and the peek into her thought process fascinating.

In any case, she is doing a series of interviews to talk to others about life’s purpose, and I was flattered that she asked me to be part of it. Come and watch, and please share your thoughts. I’d love to hear what you think (as would Erin, I’m sure).

video frame

 

Filed Under: Hello, Inspiration, Vlogs · Tagged With: ,

Life List: The Next 15

November 10, 2011 by ·

I’ve mentioned my life list before, and I’ve posted about the things from my list I’ve completed. Since we’re moving in a couple of weeks (ack!) and I quit my job (whee!) I figure this is a good time to dust off the list and see what I might work on after we move. Here are 15 things, numbered according to their spots on the master list.

3. Volunteer again.

Since we’re going to be in a new city, it might be a good time to look at volunteering – even for a one-off event. Good way to meet people, and would also force me (and my complete lack of any sort of sense of direction) to find my way around.

6. Attend a TED talk.

I do want to attend one in person, but I just came across TEDxWomen, which is taking place on Dec. 1 in New York and LA. I really want to figure out how to attend, but if I can’t you can bet I’ll be watching the talks.

9. Get in the habit of taking more photographs.

I really need to rethink this one, because it’s difficult to define the point at which this is done. In any case, a new place is a good opportunity to take some more pictures. Plus I have a spanky new iPhone 4S. Instagram, baby!

19. Really learn how to use a graphics editing program.

I’ve been using Pixelmator and, frankly, it bugs me. Time to find an alternative and see if someone (I’m married to) might be willing to walk me through its use.

24. Write something and have it published in a magazine.

I actually did this already and forgot to post about it. I had a piece on postpartum depression published in a local parenting magazine in October, which was very exciting. But I’d love to do another, so I’m going to get some ideas going and work up the nerve to pitch something.

29. Learn how to make a cup of tea – properly.

Because we’re in for a real Canadian winter, and I’m going to need tea.

cup of tea and teapot

Image credit: YaZzZz on Flickr

30. Have another child.

We’ll see what we can do about that. 🙂

33. Act in a stage play again.

I totally want to do this, especially after a recent Twitter conversation. Maybe there’s someone who’d be willing to let me be a reindeer or a shepherd in a Christmas play…

44. Improve my 10K personal best.

I need to get running again. Even if I freeze my buns off doing it.

51. Get my personal email inbox to zero.

I almost got this done while we were away last week. (That’s the beauty of a long car trip and no wifi.) I’ve got the system set up but I need to finish it and then use it more consistently. I’m sick of losing emails.

52. Get some form of exercise every day for 30 days straight.

But don’t hold me to it.

54. Get a colourful streak in my hair.

I did this one already too, but I’m hoping to get the blue put back in before I go. (Stupid dye fades so damn fast.) I would like to see if there’s a way to get this done so I can keep it, though. Hair extensions, maybe? (Anyone know?)

55. Give blood 5 more times.

I’ve got one counted towards that five, but I need to go again.

58. Get a tattoo to commemorate beating PPD.

I’m planning to go with a friend, and he and I were hoping to do this before I move. Maybe we’ll do it, if I can get my act together. Aside from all the packing and stuff, I do need to commit to a design. I saw this one recently and I’m thinking of something like it:

bee-tattoo
Isn’t that cool? I don’t want the bee (wasp?) but a bird silhouette where the bee is and my words (whatever those are going to be) where the z’s are might be just the thing. Got any tattoo pics you like? I’ll add them to my Pinterest board. At this point all ideas are welcome.

59. Help someone else with their life list.

This is a relatively recent addition to the list, and I really like it. I need to find someone with a list that includes something I can do to help. (Have a list? Anything a humble Canadian girl can help you with? Link please!)

So there you have it: 15 more things I can do to embrace this change.

What are your short-term goals and dreams?

***

This is my entry in the Just Ask Bucket List Getaway Giveaway. Just Ask offers a breast and ovarian cancer screening and is encouraging people to share 15 things that I want to enjoy in my lifetime as a reminder to be aware of my health. Want to enter? Head over to TodaysMama.com to get the details. 

Filed Under: Happy things, Hello, Inspiration · Tagged With: , , ,

The Two Thieves

November 6, 2011 by ·

I’ll always remember a certain piece of advice my mom gave me years and years ago:

You’ll regret the things you didn’t do more than the things you did. 

I’m not sure I really understood it at first. I was, at the time, young enough to be focused on all the things I hated about myself. (I’ve since grown older and wiser.) I did something embarrassing at school and regretted it. I didn’t study hard enough for that math test and regretted it (even though I certainly didn’t want a do-over). All those things I thought meant something.

As I got older I started to realize what my mom meant. All those things contribute to a life and are part of what make me who I am (do not ask me to do math, I beseech you). But I’ve long since learned they aren’t what’s important.

What’s important is what we choose to do – deliberately and with purpose, no matter how hard it may be. And in thinking about the things I might not do because I’m scared, I came to understand what my mom meant about regretting the things you don’t do more than the things you do. I thought it was brilliant and therefore so was she.

When I look back, there are many things that were hard or embarrassing or just plain awful, but I don’t actually regret any of them.

leaves in water

Image credit: Steve-h on Flickr

I don’t regret my weeks of being homesick at the beginning of a four-month exchange I went on to Germany when I was 15. It taught me that I’m stronger than I give myself credit for.

I don’t regret choosing a university closer to home instead of a more adventurous-sounding one across the country. That choice led me to my husband and the family I have now.

I don’t regret sticking with a job I initially hated. It gave me some really good experience and a foundation for what I want in my work.

Sometimes I wish I had tried harder to get Connor to sleep when he was a baby, but I don’t actually know if it would have helped. In any case, wishing won’t make it so.

I don’t even regret my horrible experience with PPD. I don’t regret the agony or the anger, the misery, the number of doctors I saw without getting a diagnosis or even the horrible psychiatrist. I don’t regret having to take time off work or spending a few months on a bunch of different medications so I could get through each day, minute by minute. That experience has taught me about life, myself, what I value, and what I can do when I do what’s right.

I certainly don’t regret anything I’ve posted on this blog.

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves – regret for the past and fear of the future.”
~ Fulton Oursler 

And now I’m about to enter a new phase. We’ve been discussing this move for a long time – years, actually, even if only in a hypothetical, wouldn’t-it-be-great-if kind of way. One of the reasons we didn’t do it before was fear. My fear. But I think it’s time to do it.

It’s nerve-wracking to have so much change all at once, especially after a period of instability. But I’m okay with that. I think the change will be a good thing, and now that we’ve bought a house and know where we’re going to be three weeks from now I’m getting totally excited.

But I’m still scared. I’m scared to be that far from my parents, even if it (hopefully) turns out to be temporary if they move as well. I’m worried about having made a decision that will mean Connor won’t see his grandparents regularly, and that they won’t see him.

That’s the part that makes me feel sick to my stomach. Not the move, not the job, not leaving everything else that has been my world for so long. It’s my parents – their support and their time with my son. But I think we have to do it. I think it’s the right thing to do. So I’ll accept the fear in place of regret. The two thieves – I’ll avoid one by embracing the other.

And live with no regrets.

 

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Filed Under: Be enough me, Hello, Inspiration, Postpartum depression · Tagged With: , , ,
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