Words of Winter

I did ask for it, so I can’t complain. We were waiting for winter, and winter is here.

It got cold on Sunday (-18 degrees C which is 0 degrees F, or slightly lower I think) but we braved the elements. Connor has a new sled and it’s a hit. Thursday and Friday’s outings, by all reports, were great. Cold in a refreshing way but not cheek-bitingly cold.

Sunday was cheek-bitingly cold.*

We went out anyway. Got bundled up—which, for a kid who generally opts to be naked, is quite a feat—and trekked to the park.

He pulled the sled on the way there.

And his excitement was written all over his face.

toddler with sled

And that’s a memory worth capturing.

*(Although, at -30C/-22F the last couple of days have been worse. Whose ideas was this again?)

 

And speaking of new things, I’m on Just.Be.Enough today talking about my new views.

Tick-Tock Goes the Clock

clock

Image credit: Caucas on Flickr

I lie beside him as the early afternoon sun streams through the blinds. As I wait for him to fall asleep every wiggle-squirm feels like a tick-tock of the clock.

Will he sleep? I want him to nap so we can go on our planned adventure later this afternoon. I need him to nap so I can get a few things done.

The thought crosses my mind—as it has done so many times before—that it would be so nice if he were one of those kids who will fall asleep without my staying with him until he’s out.

But he’s not one of those kids.

He wiggle-squirms again and the clock tick-tocks.

I hear the dishwasher running downstairs and I think of my semi-clean kitchen. I make a mental list of what I want to try to accomplish while he’s asleep so another weekend doesn’t go by without getting anything done, leaving chaos to reign.

Tick-tock goes the clock.

The wiggle-squirms start to slow, and I hear the familiar deep breathing that’s a sign of coming sleep. Everything in me starts to slow, too, and the sound of the dishwasher fades into an awareness of quiet.

Just when I think he’s asleep, he takes my arm and pulls it around him, then pulls it around some more so he’s wrapped tightly. This is going to be a hard one to get out of without waking him, I think.

In the quiet room, awash in bright sunlight, I feel his warmth. I sense his breathing. I feel his quiet.

The tick-tock of the clock comes back, but this time it’s a different awareness. Not of things to do and bathrooms to clean but of passing days, a growing boy and the fleeting nature of this time when he’ll let me lie with my arms around him while he sleeps.

So I lie there a little longer, cherishing his small-boy softness and his warmth and his peacefulness.

I want to remember this.

So I write it down.

Break a Leg

Near the western edge of Calgary stands a legacy. From a distance you can easily see a tall tower, standing at the edge of a hill. Jutting out from it are several ramps, whose purpose the tower supports. The slope of the hill is dotted with Ts, row after row of them with a function that’s hard to discern from a distance. The entire hill is snow-covered, glistening white, especially at night when the lights flood the landscape making the whole place shine out across the city.

High atop the hill, a spot of colour on a stark background, stands a Canada flag.

Canada-Olympic-Park

Canada Olympic Park.

This park was the home of several events—bobsleigh, ski jumping, some skiing—during the 1988 Winter Olympics. It has always been there, visible from so many places in the city, yet I’d never been up there. Until yesterday.

As part of our explorations while we eagerly await winter, we ventured up to the park to watch a freestyle skiing competition. COP, as it’s affectionately known, is a popular destination for skiers who don’t want to head too far out of the city to get a few runs in. It’s a great place for lessons, or so my husband says, as this is where he learned to ski.

One of the first things I noticed at my new job was one of the digital signs in the building promoting a family ski night at the park in mid-January. “We should go!” I thought, and then thought better of it. I haven’t skied for years. Years. I dread to think what the experience would be like now. (Or maybe I just dread making a fool of myself in front of new co-workers.)

We’ve tossed around the idea of going. It’s cheap, so if I fall flat on my face I can always head inside and attempt to swallow my pride along with some hot chocolate and an apple turnover. It also seems like a good option for introducing Connor to skiing. But, oh lordy, it just seems like such an undertaking.

And then, Saturday afternoon. There we were, all three of us out together walking the dog. We crossed the field near our house, dodging stubborn chunks of snow determined to last until the next snowfall. I chased Connor, then raced him, several times over, to toddler-selected finish lines. The air was brisk – refreshing but not finger-freezing cold. It felt…alive. Vibrant.

Unprompted, my husband brought up the ski night. He seemed hesitant, just as I had been. But then my word for the year came back to me.

We could choose not to go, I said, and say we’ll do it another time. But when? We could easily end up living here for years, never doing any of the things I’m looking forward to so much. Shouldn’t we go now, when the opportunity is there, accessible and inexpensive?

So we’re going.

Wish me luck. Or, at the very least, that I don’t break a leg.

Waiting for Winter

Moving from the mild west coast, we had braced ourselves for the reality of a harsh Canadian winter on the prairies.

Not so much, as it turns out.

At least not so far, anyway. It snowed shortly after we moved, which made for lovely winter walks, but it hasn’t snowed since and it hasn’t even been especially cold.

Everyone keeps commenting on how nice Mother Nature has been to us so far, and I do appreciate it. But I’m secretly a little bit disappointed. I love snow, and I’m perfectly prepared for it to get cold. Plus I’ve got a long list of things I want to do, and many of them are classic winter activities.

There’s still snow on the ground (in some places, anyway) and the local ski hill has been doing a good job making their own. We ventured up there today (more on that tomorrow) and then, with the spirit of adventure and wanting to explore some more, went down to the lagoon to watch people skating.

Apparently it’s just cold enough to keep the lagoon frozen, though it was definitely getting damp in certain areas. We walked around on the ice and watched others skate, gathering once in a while around the fire pits to warm up or drink a warm drink. Music rang out from speakers in the park, and overall it was a perfectly lovely way to spend an afternoon.

Harsh cold or not, we’ll be back with skates in hand.

skating-on-the-lagoon

The Gift of the Present

I spent some time reading blogs this afternoon. After a full Saturday, and a full work week, it was nice to sit down and live in others’ lives for a while.

There are a lot of posts right now about choosing one word. It’s an idea that seems to have taken off and there are more than I would have expected. And there were a lot of similarities in the words chosen. “Calm.” “Serenity.” “Peace.” Being “present.” Even if these words were chosen because of their absence in people’s lives, it felt calming to read them.

One other post jumped out at me. (And now I can’t find it to link to. Sigh. Update: Found it! Thanks Angela.) A mom, of course, and a struggle at bedtime. A head, belonging to a child who’s supposed to be in bed, peeks around the door where mom’s working. A request for a cuddle. Instead of responding with exasperation or an automatic “get in bed!” this mother pauses. She sees the moment for what it is—one of many, yet fleeting—and says yes.

She walks away from her computer and wraps her arms around her child.

I don’t do that enough, especially after bedtime. But tonight, after I was finished my dinner, I had the same request. A small boy holding a bowl of orange ice cream.

“Mama, can I sit with you?”

This isn’t usually my favourite request. I don’t really like him sitting on my lap right after I’ve eaten, and at that point I was browsing through blogs again. But I paused, remembered those words and that post, and said yes.

Tonight I, too, was present. I lived in that moment. And in doing so I found a calming cuddle, serenity in the warmth of a small boy’s back, and the peace that comes from finding your happy place in the squish of a toddler tummy.