Hello, Inspiration – She Believed

she-believed-did

This philosophy, which I mostly manage to maintain, got me where I am today. And it will take me where I’m going next.

I believe this, and I believe we all can. Do you? What stops you from believing?

Getting Closer

I’m working on so many things right now to try to get myself back to a place where I actually feel okay. This week’s Six Word Fridays word – “near” – seemed apropos, and I can sum up how I feel right now without having to say much more:

Making progress, getting closer, drawing near.

Sunsetting in Rearview Mirror, South Dakota


Thoughts from the Road(Trip)

We pulled into our driveway last night and could hear our dog – having spent the past week waiting to see if we’d ever come back – barking madly. Upon opening the door, he came storming out. He jumped. He licked. He ran circles around us.

We’re home.

The trip – despite some moments of going crazy – was great. A few observations:

  1. Spending seven full days with a toddler when you haven’t done that often – in fact, ever – is…what’s the word? Challenging? Exhausting? Enlightening? Crazy-making? Endearing? Yes.
  2. I might, possibly, need to plan a little bit more alone time on future trips.
  3. Toddlers who are pretty tied to a routine at home do surprisingly well on road trips.
  4. Next time, I need to remember to bring bath toys. (Thanks again, Paige, for kitting us out for the trip home.)
  5. When you tell your three-year-old boy you’re going to a play date and he’s quite concerned about whether there will be diggers there, and then you arrive to find that there are, in fact, diggers to play with, the look on his face is priceless.
  6. It turns out three-year-old boys quickly forget about diggers when there’s a selection of fire trucks to play with.
  7. A two-day drive with a toddler is actually not so bad when he can watch shows on the iPhone once the toys and games you brought get boring.
  8. The second day is especially quiet when the toddler is sick, spent the whole previous night throwing up, and then sleeps most of the way home. (Poor little monkey.)
  9. My family – those who were there and those who weren’t – are truly one of my biggest blessings.
  10. There’s a reason we seem to go there every year. It’s becoming even more about the people, though I will always find a piece of my soul in the place.

Choices

It’s amazing what happens when we open ourselves up to new things. I didn’t know what would happen when I had a baby. When it didn’t go as expected I got stuck. And I got sick, which made it hard for me to realize there were other ways to look at the situation.

When I started blogging, I just wanted to write. I wanted to get the PPD swirl out of my head. I didn’t know that I was making a choice to share this with so many people because I didn’t know all of you were out there.

I have been afraid of things. I have had dreams and have been too scared to do anything about them. Some of my dreams are small. Some are big. Some are desires I can’t explain but that have lived in me always.

There are a lot of options before me now that relate to those dreams. I don’t mean to be cryptic, but I don’t have enough information yet to know where all this is going. I’m just trying to have faith that it’s going where it’s meant to.

At first I thought some of these things would require decisions.

But maybe “decisions” isn’t the right word. Maybe the word is “choices.”

I know what I can do, and as a result I know what I could do.

But it’s not about that. It’s about knowing – and showing – who I truly am, and that opens up a world of choices.

choices-harry

I love these books, and I know this quote. I saw this on a friend’s board on Pinterest today and got a little teary, because I know exactly what he means.

California BlogHer Girl

So I did it. I bought a ticket to BlogHer 11.

I knew the conference was happening. I sort of wanted to go. But me? Nah. I’m too new. I can’t go. I can’t spend the money.

But sometimes the signs point you in a different direction.

There have been a few of them (and no, they’re not the BlogHer team doing a good job at marketing!). And one day I knew it: I want to go. I need to go. I’m meant to go.

So I’m going.

I’ve told my inner introvert to suck it up and I’ve agreed to room with 3 (possibly 4?) other women I’ve never met. This means no room of my own to escape to when I need a break. This means leaving any shyness at home and letting strangers see what I look like first thing in the morning. It might mean abandoning my usual hotel-room tradition of using the close-up mirrors to examine my pores and pluck my eyebrows. (But probably not.)

I’m also going to attend a Pathfinder day, where I’ll get to participate in a workshop with one of my idols on using your blog as a life changer.

The experience might be life-changing. It might be fun. I’m definitely going to learn something. So no matter the outcome it will be worth it.

I will find alone time when I need it. But I’m expecting to find a lot of other things I think I need more.

I'm Going to BlogHer '11