Explore: 2013

January 3, 2013 by ·

I first chose a word for the year (“seek”) in 2011 and, boy, did that turn out to be the right word. Then last year my word was “vibrant” and I’ve decided, upon reflection, that it was the right word.

I’m notoriously non-committal when it comes to “inspirational” stuff like this. I hear about a concept that I like and jump on board, but then my interest wanes or, more commonly, I end up unsure if I’m really on the right track. Either way, I can usually be counted on to give it a few weeks and then move on to something else.

Not with this whole one-word-for-the-year thing.

I’m not big on setting resolutions (another thing I was very good at abandoning almost immediately). I think it’s because resolutions tend to be things that I feel I should do (or shouldn’t do, in some cases) and shoulding is really not a terribly useful way to get motivated. But, I’ve discovered, I’m all over putting something out there and being open to seeing what comes of it.

In that spirit, my word for this year is EXPLORE.

OneWord2013_Explore

My chosen word came to me sooner and more easily than in previous years. It was just there, and there was no question about whether it’s the right word. It just is.

I want to explore all kinds of things – items on my life list, writing opportunities, my writing here. I want to get to know our new(ish) community better – it’s lovely and pretty and so close to so many things I want to dip my figurative toe into. I want to find my running spirit in this new, snow-filled environment. I want to take more trips — nearby and possibly farther away — and I want to spend more time in the mountains just breathing.

Clocks

I want to continue to keep in touch with dear friends from back home and find new ways to connect with them on a regular basis, because they lift me up. They were sent into my life for a reason and I’m not going to let geography push them out of it.

I also want to figure out my relationship with Connor. I haven’t written a lot about it aside from the delight of his four-year-oldness, but I’m struggling and the voice in my head is whispering that if I don’t do something about it I could become irreparably disconnected from my beloved first boy.

So that’s my word. Explore.

See you out there.

snowy-trail

One word image courtesy the very generous Melanie at Only a Breath. Want one? She’s offering one word buttons now (and not just for bloggers). 

Filed Under: Hello, Inspiration · Tagged With: , ,

30 Days Straight

January 2, 2013 by ·

Today is January 2nd (for a little while yet, anyway), which means yesterday was January 1st and therefore the 2nd anniversary of this blog. I didn’t have a post about that yesterday because, frankly, I always feel that if I write something on the first of the year it should be profound. And yesterday I wasn’t feeling very profound. So instead I’ll now say the usual things, like I can’t believe it’s been two years. And I‘m grateful to have this space and the people I have encountered through it. Truly – I thank all of you who read and comment and share. My life is undoubtedly richer because of you.

How’s that for a cursory celebration? I do like to acknowledge these things, but right now I’d rather just get on with living life instead of writing about how I write about living life.

The living I’m doing right now relates to my post about taking on a challenge to exercise for 30 days straight. When my friend Melissa first challenged me to tackle that item on my life list I started to regret having put that silly idea on there. But as Christmas crept past and the food kept coming and the couch kept calling I decided it was a good thing someone was willing to push me. So I began to psych myself up for it and figure out what variety of things I wanted to do over the 30 days, both so I could manage it after being less than active for the last while and so I wouldn’t get bored after a week.

And then the day came.

And I started!

I started the 30 days by going for a run yesterday. It was beautiful – I went later in the day than I had intended (entirely due to small people’s needs and not at all because of lack of motivation) but in doing so I caught the sunset. And I looked out over the roofs of the houses in our community and was treated to a gorgeous glimpse of the Rockies, which fill up my soul every day.

mountain-sunset

I ran alone, with no agenda other than completing 30 minutes. I zigged through our neighbourhood and zagged down trails just to see where they went. I passed people sledding as the sun went down and the lights in the houses behind them came on. I encountered two other solo runners with whom I exchanged The Look. The one that says, “We’re alive and we’re out here and isn’t it beautiful?”

sledding

I kept running, knowing I was taking myself father than a 30-minute out-and-back required. I turned onto one street because I hadn’t been down it before and chose another because it had pretty Christmas lights. And when my 30 minutes was up I stopped.

I ended up a little way from home, which was ultimately sort of deliberate because I figured I could use the cool down, but I so enjoyed the alone time. It was cold enough that I could feel every breath deep in my lungs, and early enough in the lateness of the day that the sky glowed.

mountain-sunset2

And that’s why I put this item on my life list in the first place. Because when I get out there it’s good for me and I notice things and I feel happy.

That’s why I wanted to do it, so I’ll keep doing it. For 28 more days. And probably more.

 

I’m using the hash tag #30daysstraight on Twitter and Instagram if you want to follow along. As well, another friend has joined in starting today, and if you want to try this too I would love to hear about it. 

Filed Under: Happy things · Tagged With: , , , ,

Reflecting on a ‘Vibrant’ Year

December 31, 2012 by ·

As I sit here on New Year’s Eve I’m thinking back to the one word I chose for 2012.

skating at night

Skating on New Year’s Eve

VIBRANT

Actually, as I mentioned in that original post, the word chose me. I knew it was the right word because there were things about it that spoke to my hopes and dreams for the year, but my word was born of its own volition in the newness of the year. It chose to come into my life and my job was to nurture it.

I’m not entirely sure I did my word justice this year, to be honest. And yet I’m pleased with what I brought into this year and what this year brought me.

One of the reasons I felt “vibrant” was the right word for me for this last year was that I wanted to have another baby. It turns out my word took that challenge seriously and we knew before January was through that Ethan would be joining us this year.

New life. That was enough vibrance even without anything else happening.

But the process of bringing that new life into being left me feeling decidedly less than vibrantly alive. Between antenatal depression and morning sickness, that pregnancy nearly killed my spirit. As a result, I didn’t do as much as I had hoped over the course of the year.

At this time last year we had only just moved here and I had grand visions of all the things we would do over the course of the year. I was especially excited — having moved from the one part of Canada that doesn’t really get any winter to speak of — about all the winter activities we could do. But the first few months of pregnancy had other ideas and before I knew it we were into summer and two straight months of temperatures so hot I could barely stand it.

There were many times this year when I did not feel vibrant.

But the word chose me for a reason and I accepted it into my life. I had it put on a ring that I wore every day (at least until I had to get my wedding ring cut off and then I didn’t dare risk losing another precious ring). The word was always there – literally in front of my face and never far from my thoughts.

And when I reflect back on 2012, I realize my word was in fact made manifest this year. This past year has been full. I have embraced the new and held on to what’s dear from before and in doing so I have felt alive.

Vibrant, even.

Cheers to the old year and welcome to the new.

 

Filed Under: Hello, Inspiration · Tagged With: , , ,

Farewell to 2012 in Photos: Link-up

December 27, 2012 by ·

We had a great Christmas but I’m glad it’s over, you know? I’m ready to plug away on the stuff I want to work on instead of being consumed by the madness of a deadline most other people are working towards as well.

But before I get too deep into new projects it’s time to look back.

I love this time of year for all the lists of top moments, big news stories and all that wrap-up-the-year stuff. So why not do our own? I did this photo retrospective last year and it was a great exercise in looking at just how much had happened in a year.

Having put together this post for this year, I can say I think 2012 was equally full of unexpected stuff. We had a baby, my brother and sister-in-law had twins, and my parents actually moved out here. I didn’t do as much adventuring or travelling as I had hoped, but we were blessed with so much other good stuff instead. Hard and sad stuff, too, but we’ve got what we need to get through it.

Want to join me for your own year in review? Pick one picture for each month of the year (or do a photo dump – whatever you like!). Then grab the button (code is in the right sidebar), post, and link up with me to say farewell to 2012 in photos.


 
The link-up will be live from December 28 through January 4. On January 5, one linker will be randomly chosen to receive a package from Little Love Media that includes a blog evaluation report and a blog strategy. (Thanks again, Alison!)

Let’s do this.

January

In January we had just moved to Calgary and we were embracing winter. I had chosen “vibrant” as my one word for 2012 and I wanted to really get out and enjoy our new city and all it offers. We went skiing and skating, and the picture above was at the Lake Louise Ice Festival. Awesome month (that also included the beginning of something else awesome, but more about that when we get to October).

February

 

In February we were settling in, and quite well overall, but we were starting to really miss having my parents close by and Connor really missed Grandma.

March

 

March was mostly just March. Except that at the end of the month we lost Michael.

April

April was about motherhood. It was quiet moments and acceptance and Very Serious Conversations.

May


In May I was pregnant. ALL THE TIME. (And perhaps a bit obsessed about certain aspects of it.) To distract myself from the constant morning sickness I started thinking about names and came across this gem from when I was pregnant with Connor.

June

 

In June I still wasn’t feeling quite right. I was struggling with depression and sad after we found out we weren’t having a girl. But Connor turned four, and watching him turn into a little person in a way he really hadn’t been before was pretty cool.

July

In July I was still working on finding my way, but I think the best drama of the month resulted in this.

(I got the ring fixed, by the way.)

August

In August I was still thoroughly in pregnancy hell. It was hot, I was tired, and I had just had enough. But that was the month something clicked for me with Connor. It had been a long time coming, and it’s something I still remember. (I don’t always achieve the motherhood equivalent of Zen, but my awareness is there and that’s huge.)

September

September was all about getting ready to have a baby. I started mat leave in the middle of the month, we finished Ethan’s nursery and I spent some time thinking about (and preparing for) giving birth. And good thing, too…

October

…because in October this beautiful boy came into the world.

And it was good.

November

In November I was tired. But I spent a lot of time cuddling a baby, and it was good.

December

winter moon

And that brings us to the end of another year. December has been a good month, and different in a good way from the rest of the year. I feel like I enjoyed things more and took time to appreciate the goodness and opportunity around me. A nice feeling to take with me into the next year, don’t you think?

What was 2012 about for you?

 



Filed Under: Photos · Tagged With: , , , , ,

Surviving Doomsday

December 21, 2012 by ·

If you can read this post then a celebration is in order.

I survived doomsday

Yes, apparently the world hasn’t ended after all. Of course, as an increasing number of people are pointing out, the Mayans didn’t actually predict the end of the world on December 21, 2012. That just happened to be the day this particular cycle of their calendar ends. But that’s not why we should be celebrating.

You see, it’s my birthday.

December 21, 2012 also happens to be the day this particular cycle — this particular year — on my calendar ends. Coincidence? I think not.

I do sort of feel like I’m on the cusp of something. A new chapter in life. We’ve now lived here for a year. It’s been a year of getting to know a new city and settling into a new job, a year of adjusting to (and loving) a proper Canadian winter. I’ve met new friends and kept in touch with old ones. We’ve started again with a whole new life that has only just begun.

We went “home” again recently. I’m not sure that’s the right word, but it’s the only word I can think of to use. We went back to the city I grew up in, the city where Connor was born and the city where my husband and I lived together for 11 years. And it felt distinctly unlike home.

I drove past our old house for the first time since we moved just over a year ago, and I got a little verklempt. Last year we sold the house to another family; their chairs are on the porch and their Christmas lights decorate the railings and flower bushes, but it still feels like my house. The city doesn’t feel like my city, though. I moved there when I was almost five years old, so in many ways it was the only “home” I had ever known. I’m not sure why it doesn’t feel that way now.

It was grey and rainy while we were there. I don’t miss either. I don’t miss the slow drivers or the traffic lights or the way the city feels dark even when it’s not. Those are all things I didn’t notice when I lived there (except for the grey raininess, which I did notice and was thrilled to move away from). But when I thought about the city beyond all those less-than-ideal, sort of frustrating things, I just didn’t miss it.

Rich thinks it’s because I left a lot behind when we moved away. The year prior to our move, and all the challenges that time brought with it, is firmly planted in the ground that is that city. The seeds were scattered there and the rain soaked them, bringing them to life. All that stuff sprang up and I had to hack it down, which was a long and painful process. And when I was finally better I found myself unable to tolerate all the other stuff that had previously just lurked in the background.

So I fled.

Or at least that’s what it feels like to me. But as much as there are things I do miss — people, mostly, and a certain kind of chicken burger at a restaurant we don’t have here — all my visits home have confirmed that it’s not home anymore.

My home is here now, and (happily) so are some of my people. It took the better part of this year to scatter these new seeds and let them settle, but they have. And now it’s time for a new cycle to begin.

I survived doomsday, but it wasn’t today. Today, I’m pretty sure, is more a beginning than an end.

Filed Under: Happy things, Hard things · Tagged With: , ,
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